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  • Thinking of You Thinking of You

    I exercise just to make you feel bad about not exercising.

    I exercise just to make you feel bad about not exercising.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.

    Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.

  • Cry for Help Cry for Help

    My main form of exercise is walking my plate back to the kitchen.

    My main form of exercise is walking my plate back to the kitchen.

  • Reminders Reminders

    Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to exercise and then not post about it on Facebook.

    Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to exercise and then not post about it on Facebook.

  • Confession Confession

    I'll start exercising on a regular basis when my body is so out of shape it is impossible for me to exercise on a regular basis.

    I'll start exercising on a regular basis when my body is so out of shape it is impossible for me to exercise on a regular basis.

  • Drinking Drinking

    Your inevitable DUI will be the perfect way to finally exercise your fat ass.

    Your inevitable DUI will be the perfect way to finally exercise your fat ass.

  • Drinking Drinking

    My only source of exercise is bar crawls.

    My only source of exercise is bar crawls.

  • Reminders Reminders

    People who exercise live longer, but those extra years are spent at the gym.

    People who exercise live longer, but those extra years are spent at the gym.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Here's to shivering under blankets on the sofa burning as many calories as going to the gym.

    Here's to shivering under blankets on the sofa burning as many calories as going to the gym.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    Hope you're not too exhausted from your yearly visit to the gym on New Year's Day.

    Hope you're not too exhausted from your yearly visit to the gym on New Year's Day.

  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    The only tough mudder I can brag about involves 25 minutes on the toilet.

    The only tough mudder I can brag about involves 25 minutes on the toilet.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd love to go to the gym with you and watch you work out.

    I'd love to go to the gym with you and watch you work out.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    My nose has done more running this spring than I have.

    My nose has done more running this spring than I have.

  • Confession Confession

    I'd have a nicer ass if I didn't feel so lame doing the exercises that improve asses.

    I'd have a nicer ass if I didn't feel so lame doing the exercises that improve asses.

  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    The only thing I exercise is my right to be out of shape.

    The only thing I exercise is my right to be out of shape.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    The best thing about a heat wave is constantly having the illusion you're getting exercise.

    The best thing about a heat wave is constantly having the illusion you're getting exercise.

  • Confession Confession

    My favorite time to pretend I was going to exercise is when it's raining out.

    My favorite time to pretend I was going to exercise is when it's raining out.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I don’t even need your constant Facebook posts to tell that you’ve been working out.

    I don’t even need your constant Facebook posts to tell that you’ve been working out.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I can't wait until I can use the heat as an excuse not to get any exercise.

    I can't wait until I can use the heat as an excuse not to get any exercise.

  • Pets Pets

    I wish I got even half the exercise that my dog does.

    I wish I got even half the exercise that my dog does.

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