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  • Birthday Birthday

    You may feel old but you're still the youngest person I had sex with this year.

    You may feel old but you're still the youngest person I had sex with this year.

  • Censored Censored

    Censored: I feel so empty when you're not around.

    Censored: I feel so empty when you're not around.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Even if it wasn't cold out, my nipples would still be erect when I'm near you.

    Even if it wasn't cold out, my nipples would still be erect when I'm near you.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Your nipples are my favorite winter weather report.

    Your nipples are my favorite winter weather report.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I want to book a trip to the part of your body US Airways tweeted.

    I want to book a trip to the part of your body US Airways tweeted.

  • Censored Censored

    Censored: Let's see more of each other.

    Censored: Let's see more of each other.

  • Confession Confession

    If I had the confidence to talk to beautiful women, I'd definitely talk to you.

    If I had the confidence to talk to beautiful women, I'd definitely talk to you.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.

    I'd like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.

  • IFC Out There IFC Out There

    I'm a lover and a fighter, so with me you're getting the best of both worlds.

    I'm a lover and a fighter, so with me you're getting the best of both worlds.

  • Pregnancy Pregnancy

    Your pregnancy breasts make me want to get you pregnant again.

    Your pregnancy breasts make me want to get you pregnant again.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd leave the house for you.

    I'd leave the house for you.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Your username is making me hesitant to flirt with you.

    Your username is making me hesitant to flirt with you.

  • Flirting Flirting

    You make me even hotter than global warming does.

    You make me even hotter than global warming does.

  • Flirting Flirting

    You brighten my life almost enough to offset my Seasonal Affective Disorder.

    You brighten my life almost enough to offset my Seasonal Affective Disorder.

  • Flirting Flirting

    This winter was particularly hard on my having to imagine what your cleavage looks like.

    This winter was particularly hard on my having to imagine what your cleavage looks like.

  • Curve Appeal Curve Appeal

    I think I'm ready for a Friday date.

    I think I'm ready for a Friday date.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Office Coupon: Good for one instance of you saying something pervy that I won't report to HR.

    Office Coupon: Good for one instance of you saying something pervy that I won't report to HR.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Thanks for never being as clingy as this extended winter weather.

    Thanks for never being as clingy as this extended winter weather.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I want to spend the rest of my lease with you.

    I want to spend the rest of my lease with you.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    Thanks for making me feel better about myself by being slightly more dysfunctional than me.

    Thanks for making me feel better about myself by being slightly more dysfunctional than me.

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