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  • Birthday Birthday

    Sorry I forgot to wish you a happy belated birthday.

    Sorry I forgot to wish you a happy belated birthday.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for ignoring me when I said you didn't have to get me a gift.

    Thanks for ignoring me when I said you didn't have to get me a gift.

  • Friendship Friendship

    If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.

    If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.

  • Friendship Friendship

    The highlight of our friendship was you unfriending me.

    The highlight of our friendship was you unfriending me.

  • Friendship Friendship

    We are at that point in our friendship where you should realize that we don't have one.

    We are at that point in our friendship where you should realize that we don't have one.

  • Friendship Friendship

    You're my favorite person to be socially awkward with.

    You're my favorite person to be socially awkward with.

  • Friendship Friendship

    Let's talk soon because I miss you hearing the sound of my voice.

    Let's talk soon because I miss you hearing the sound of my voice.

  • Friendship Friendship

    Let's form a friendship based on our secret hatred of one another.

    Let's form a friendship based on our secret hatred of one another.

  • Friendship Friendship

    So I guess you think you're better than me.

    So I guess you think you're better than me.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Let's drag out this excruciatingly ill-fated romance until there isn't even a remote possibility of salvaging a friendship.

    Let's drag out this excruciatingly ill-fated romance until there isn't even a remote possibility of salvaging a friendship.

  • Friendship Friendship

    We hate all the same people.

    We hate all the same people.

  • Broad City Broad City

    If I found a Xanax in someone's medicine cabinet, I'd split it with you.

    If I found a Xanax in someone's medicine cabinet, I'd split it with you.

  • Congratulations Congratulations

    Provided your success is short-lived, I believe our friendship will survive.

    Provided your success is short-lived, I believe our friendship will survive.

  • Friendship Friendship

    Let's not spoil our great sex with friendship.

    Let's not spoil our great sex with friendship.

  • Friendship Friendship

    I appreciate your friendship so much that if we ever got into a fist fight I'd totally try my best to avoid your face.

    I appreciate your friendship so much that if we ever got into a fist fight I'd totally try my best to avoid your face.

  • Friendship Friendship

    No one but a member of the opposite sex could get in the way of our friendship.

    No one but a member of the opposite sex could get in the way of our friendship.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Please don't mistake this birthday wish for any form of potential friendship.

    Please don't mistake this birthday wish for any form of potential friendship.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Sorry most of your birthday wishes on Facebook only contain one exclamation point.

    Sorry most of your birthday wishes on Facebook only contain one exclamation point.

  • Friendship Friendship

    Stop stealing my look.

    Stop stealing my look.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I just want you to know I'm here for you if anyone tries to bully you into doing something outdoors.

    I just want you to know I'm here for you if anyone tries to bully you into doing something outdoors.

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