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  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    The GOP settling for Romney is a great reminder to thank you for settling for me.

    The GOP settling for Romney is a great reminder to thank you for settling for me.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Without The Colbert Report, right-wing blowhards will just have to keep parodying themselves.

    Without The Colbert Report, right-wing blowhards will just have to keep parodying themselves.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I think the Republicans could win the presidential election if they stopped revealing who their candidates are.

    I think the Republicans could win the presidential election if they stopped revealing who their candidates are.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Home of the NFL's Arizona Cardinals and a bunch of other anti-gay businesses.

    Home of the NFL's Arizona Cardinals and a bunch of other anti-gay businesses.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Congratulations to Republicans on winning the right to be blamed for everything again.

    Congratulations to Republicans on winning the right to be blamed for everything again.

  • Boss's Day Boss's Day

    Happy Boss’s Day and may you maintain your illusion of control even longer than John Boehner has.

    Happy Boss’s Day and may you maintain your illusion of control even longer than John Boehner has.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    The GOP settling for Romney is a great reminder to thank you for settling for me.

    The GOP settling for Romney is a great reminder to thank you for settling for me.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    My job title is too long for the GOP to shamelessly exploit in their futile quest for rapport with the middle class.

    My job title is too long for the GOP to shamelessly exploit in their futile quest for rapport with the middle class.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I admire the GOP's strategy of bringing in a debate moderator who'll sound even stupider than the candidates.

    I admire the GOP's strategy of bringing in a debate moderator who'll sound even stupider than the candidates.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I wish the Supreme Court would set limits on your political contributions to my Facebook feed.

    I wish the Supreme Court would set limits on your political contributions to my Facebook feed.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    The only reason I think the debt-ceiling deal may be good is that the Tea Party thinks it's bad.

    The only reason I think the debt-ceiling deal may be good is that the Tea Party thinks it's bad.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Here's to Chris Christie for trying his best to keep New Jerseyans away from the rest of the country.

    Here's to Chris Christie for trying his best to keep New Jerseyans away from the rest of the country.

  • Thanksgiving Thanksgiving

    I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving now that my relatives' political opinions have been rendered irrelevant.

    I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving now that my relatives' political opinions have been rendered irrelevant.

  • Columbus Day Columbus Day

    Let's celebrate the only illegal immigrant in history that Republicans respect.

    Let's celebrate the only illegal immigrant in history that Republicans respect.

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