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  • Workplace Workplace

    Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you're already doing.

    Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you're already doing.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Just wondering on a scale from 1 to David Hasselhoff how drunk you were planning on getting this evening.

    Just wondering on a scale from 1 to David Hasselhoff how drunk you were planning on getting this evening.

  • Confession Confession

    I'm well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.

    I'm well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.

  • Friendship Friendship

    I know I'm getting old when my friends start having kids on purpose.

    I know I'm getting old when my friends start having kids on purpose.

  • Confession Confession

    I just missed a meeting because getting the wording exactly right on my Someecard is more important to me than the future of this company.

    I just missed a meeting because getting the wording exactly right on my Someecard is more important to me than the future of this company.

  • Graduation Graduation

    Congratulations on getting your master's in a field that was already pointless to have a bachelor's in.

    Congratulations on getting your master's in a field that was already pointless to have a bachelor's in.

  • Nurses Week Nurses Week

    Let's celebrate Nurses Week by getting high on stolen painkillers.

    Let's celebrate Nurses Week by getting high on stolen painkillers.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I'm superstitious about not getting drunk on a Friday.

    I'm superstitious about not getting drunk on a Friday.

  • Getting On Getting On

    Of the vast number of people I report to at work, you're my favorite.

    Of the vast number of people I report to at work, you're my favorite.

  • Courtesy Hello Courtesy Hello

    Just getting on your radar because I may need something from you soon.

    Just getting on your radar because I may need something from you soon.

  • Workplace Workplace

    The only good thing about working on the weekend is getting to complain about it all week.

    The only good thing about working on the weekend is getting to complain about it all week.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Congratulations on getting or shrewdly deciding not to get the new iPhone.

    Congratulations on getting or shrewdly deciding not to get the new iPhone.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Best of luck on your internship here and on getting me a coffee right now.

    Best of luck on your internship here and on getting me a coffee right now.

  • Getting On Getting On

    Thanks for being the kind of co-worker I could never imagine having an office romance with.

    Thanks for being the kind of co-worker I could never imagine having an office romance with.

  • Congratulations Congratulations

    Congratulations on not getting me pregnant.

    Congratulations on not getting me pregnant.

  • Confession Confession

    I'd be much more scared of getting the flu if all my social interactions weren't on the Internet.

    I'd be much more scared of getting the flu if all my social interactions weren't on the Internet.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I measure how bad the economy is getting by tracking the number of new whores on Craigslist.

    I measure how bad the economy is getting by tracking the number of new whores on Craigslist.

  • Graduation Graduation

    Congratulations on getting through college without getting pregnant.

    Congratulations on getting through college without getting pregnant.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.

    Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.

  • Confession Confession

    Congratulations on getting through a wedding season without ruining a wedding.

    Congratulations on getting through a wedding season without ruining a wedding.

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