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  • Friendship Friendship

    I know it secretly irritates the hell out of you that God loves me just as much as he loves you.

    I know it secretly irritates the hell out of you that God loves me just as much as he loves you.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I want to be the one everyone will wonder what the hell is doing with someone like you.

    I want to be the one everyone will wonder what the hell is doing with someone like you.

  • Cry for Help Cry for Help

    I'm going to hell in every religion.

    I'm going to hell in every religion.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I would tell you to go to hell but I work there and don't want to see you everyday.

    I would tell you to go to hell but I work there and don't want to see you everyday.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy anniversary to a couple whose love and devotion after so many years continues to freak the hell out of everyone.

    Happy anniversary to a couple whose love and devotion after so many years continues to freak the hell out of everyone.

  • Birthday Birthday

    It's ironic your birthday falls on Easter since you're clearly going to hell.

    It's ironic your birthday falls on Easter since you're clearly going to hell.

  • Futurama Futurama

    Thinking of you, and trying to remember who the hell you are.

    Thinking of you, and trying to remember who the hell you are.

  • U.S. U.S.

    What the hell are you looking at asshole?

    What the hell are you looking at asshole?

  • So Irritating So Irritating

    I'm always impressed that no task is too small to irritate the hell out of you.

    I'm always impressed that no task is too small to irritate the hell out of you.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I hope your sweat from the heat wave helps cover up your sweat from having no idea how the hell to do your job.

    I hope your sweat from the heat wave helps cover up your sweat from having no idea how the hell to do your job.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for walking us through your long-term plans to methodically overcharge the hell out of us.

    Thanks for walking us through your long-term plans to methodically overcharge the hell out of us.

  • LGBT LGBT

    I can't wait to be your first non-straight friend who annoys the hell out of you with baby photos on Facebook.

    I can't wait to be your first non-straight friend who annoys the hell out of you with baby photos on Facebook.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'm sorry that there is no special day that celebrates whatever the hell it is that you do.

    I'm sorry that there is no special day that celebrates whatever the hell it is that you do.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    This heat is making me sweat like an 80-year-old media mogul on his way to hell.

    This heat is making me sweat like an 80-year-old media mogul on his way to hell.

  • Honest Pop-ups Honest Pop-ups

    Honest Pop-Up Notifications: Push Notifications.

    Honest Pop-Up Notifications: Push Notifications.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Let's get back to ignoring our Jewish heritage until whenever the hell Hanukkah is.

    Let's get back to ignoring our Jewish heritage until whenever the hell Hanukkah is.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm mad as hell and I keep taking it.

    I'm mad as hell and I keep taking it.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Dad, it appears your lifelong theory about the world going to hell was dead-on.

    Dad, it appears your lifelong theory about the world going to hell was dead-on.

  • LGBT LGBT

    Your wedding better be gay as hell if I'm going to waste one of my summer weekends attending it.

    Your wedding better be gay as hell if I'm going to waste one of my summer weekends attending it.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Happy Father's Day to the parent who lets me do whatever the hell I want.

    Happy Father's Day to the parent who lets me do whatever the hell I want.

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