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  • Workplace Workplace

    The first thing I do when I get to work is check my Facebook until I go home.

    The first thing I do when I get to work is check my Facebook until I go home.

  • Workplace Workplace

    We're going to need you to surf the internet at work instead of home this Saturday.

    We're going to need you to surf the internet at work instead of home this Saturday.

  • Mom Mom

    Technically, you're not drinking alone if your kids are home.

    Technically, you're not drinking alone if your kids are home.

  • Confession Confession

    I stay home every weekend so the only thing I regret doing is staying home every weekend.

    I stay home every weekend so the only thing I regret doing is staying home every weekend.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I can't wait for the weekend so I can sit at home and wish I had something better to do.

    I can't wait for the weekend so I can sit at home and wish I had something better to do.

  • Confession Confession

    I'd love to talk but I'm in a hurry to get home so I can be alone.

    I'd love to talk but I'm in a hurry to get home so I can be alone.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm going to rush right home and continue not listening to The Beatles.

    I'm going to rush right home and continue not listening to The Beatles.

  • Take Kids to.. Take Kids to..

    I'm bringing my kids to work so they can see why I'm such a bitch when I get home.

    I'm bringing my kids to work so they can see why I'm such a bitch when I get home.

  • Confession Confession

    I'm not the kind of girl you can take home to your mother unless your mother is a drunk whore too.

    I'm not the kind of girl you can take home to your mother unless your mother is a drunk whore too.

  • Better Like.. Better Like..

    Better Like Button: This reminds me why I moved away from our hometown.

    Better Like Button: This reminds me why I moved away from our hometown.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Sorry you can't use a hurricane as an excuse to not leave your home this weekend.

    Sorry you can't use a hurricane as an excuse to not leave your home this weekend.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'm leaving work to go home and check work email.

    I'm leaving work to go home and check work email.

  • Flirting Flirting

    There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.

    There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.

  • The Home Depot The Home Depot

    I wish a laser pointer could keep our holiday guests as occupied as our cat.

    I wish a laser pointer could keep our holiday guests as occupied as our cat.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for covering for me the day I was home sick and the subsequent days I was home dicking around.

    Thanks for covering for me the day I was home sick and the subsequent days I was home dicking around.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Love Coupon: Good for one romantic night on the town where I'll drink too much and you'll drive us home.

    Love Coupon: Good for one romantic night on the town where I'll drink too much and you'll drive us home.

  • Sports Sports

    Congratulations on your baseball team securing home-field advantage at a home field that's usually empty.

    Congratulations on your baseball team securing home-field advantage at a home field that's usually empty.

  • Apology Apology

    Sorry I burned down your childhood home.

    Sorry I burned down your childhood home.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I will be out of the office today claiming I won't have access to email.

    I will be out of the office today claiming I won't have access to email.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Going home is a wonderful vacation from the people I share my summer rental with.

    Going home is a wonderful vacation from the people I share my summer rental with.

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