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  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    May your inevitable international sex scandal not also reveal what a cheapskate you are.

    May your inevitable international sex scandal not also reveal what a cheapskate you are.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm shocked to hear about the Secret Service behaving like the politicians they protect.

    I'm shocked to hear about the Secret Service behaving like the politicians they protect.

  • Confession Confession

    I wish I loved anything as much as Charlie Sheen loved cocaine and hookers.

    I wish I loved anything as much as Charlie Sheen loved cocaine and hookers.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Let's have a Game of Thrones amount of hookers at your bachelor party.

    Let's have a Game of Thrones amount of hookers at your bachelor party.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Sorry that Colombian prostitutes make more money than you.

    Sorry that Colombian prostitutes make more money than you.

  • Workplace Workplace

    At least your job doesn't hinge on Charlie Sheen not dying.

    At least your job doesn't hinge on Charlie Sheen not dying.

  • Workplace Workplace

    May you someday have the same mind-boggling job security as Charlie Sheen.

    May you someday have the same mind-boggling job security as Charlie Sheen.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I support the economy by only buying American hookers.

    I support the economy by only buying American hookers.

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