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  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life.

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I don't need Apple Maps to get completely lost in your eyes.

    I don't need Apple Maps to get completely lost in your eyes.

  • Confession Confession

    The iPad has completely revolutionized the way I take a dump.

    The iPad has completely revolutionized the way I take a dump.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I can't wait to see how stories about Apple's inhumane working conditions will look in HD on my new iPad.

    I can't wait to see how stories about Apple's inhumane working conditions will look in HD on my new iPad.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Don't forget the consequences of getting an iPad could be getting ebooks for your birthday.

    Don't forget the consequences of getting an iPad could be getting ebooks for your birthday.

  • Confession Confession

    I wish Sarah Palin was an Apple product so that she'd be completely obsolete in six months.

    I wish Sarah Palin was an Apple product so that she'd be completely obsolete in six months.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever creates could fully replace you in my life.

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever creates could fully replace you in my life.

  • Apology Apology

    Sorry Apple products are consistently losing more weight than you.

    Sorry Apple products are consistently losing more weight than you.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    It must be love if our relationship has lasted longer than the life cycle of a first generation Apple product.

    It must be love if our relationship has lasted longer than the life cycle of a first generation Apple product.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    I'd wait for you even longer than Verizon waited for the chance to sell Apple products.

    I'd wait for you even longer than Verizon waited for the chance to sell Apple products.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Sorry your iPad 2 now looks as old and expendable as Peyton Manning.

    Sorry your iPad 2 now looks as old and expendable as Peyton Manning.

  • Reminders Reminders

    You may want to wait for the version of the iPad that doesn't include strangers asking if it's an iPad.

    You may want to wait for the version of the iPad that doesn't include strangers asking if it's an iPad.

  • Sympathy Sympathy

    Sorry no one cares that the creator of your electronic device is still alive.

    Sorry no one cares that the creator of your electronic device is still alive.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    An iPad is the perfect device for walking people through your flimsy rationalizations for buying an iPad.

    An iPad is the perfect device for walking people through your flimsy rationalizations for buying an iPad.

  • Confession Confession

    I can't wait to obsess over, overspend on, and then complain about whatever product Steve Jobs unveils next.

    I can't wait to obsess over, overspend on, and then complain about whatever product Steve Jobs unveils next.

  • PSAs PSAs

    PSA: This is what you look like when you take pictures with an iPad.

    PSA: This is what you look like when you take pictures with an iPad.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    All I want for Christmas is an electronic gadget that won't be obsolete by New Year's.

    All I want for Christmas is an electronic gadget that won't be obsolete by New Year's.

  • Family Family

    Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.

    Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I can't wait to see if the new iPhone will be able to remind drunk Apple engineers not to leave it in bars.

    I can't wait to see if the new iPhone will be able to remind drunk Apple engineers not to leave it in bars.

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