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  • Weekend Weekend

    Let's drink tonight like we're Facebook employees and drink more when we remember we're not.

    Let's drink tonight like we're Facebook employees and drink more when we remember we're not.

  • Flirting Flirting

    My favorite Facebook public offerings are still your beach photos.

    My favorite Facebook public offerings are still your beach photos.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    The Twitter IPO is a great reminder of how much money there is to be made on helping people waste their lives.

    The Twitter IPO is a great reminder of how much money there is to be made on helping people waste their lives.

  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    The Twitter IPO proves that every one of my worthless tweets was actually valuable.

    The Twitter IPO proves that every one of my worthless tweets was actually valuable.

  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    The only thing I can afford to invest in Twitter is 16 hours a day.

    The only thing I can afford to invest in Twitter is 16 hours a day.

  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    Please explain an IPO to me in no more than 140 characters.

    Please explain an IPO to me in no more than 140 characters.

  • Reminders Reminders

    May your thoughts and prayers this week be with Tom from MySpace.

    May your thoughts and prayers this week be with Tom from MySpace.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday on Facebook while it's still free to do so.

    Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday on Facebook while it's still free to do so.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I hope my Facebook stock earns me enough money to make up for the job I lose for constantly being on Facebook.

    I hope my Facebook stock earns me enough money to make up for the job I lose for constantly being on Facebook.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    I'll buy you a share of Facebook for every status update you don't post.

    I'll buy you a share of Facebook for every status update you don't post.

  • Congratulations Congratulations

    Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information.

    Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Any company that ensures I never forget your birthday should be worth at least $100 billion.

    Any company that ensures I never forget your birthday should be worth at least $100 billion.

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