• refine by:
sort-by: Most Popular | Newest
  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Let's get a four-hour head start on rush hour traffic that begins four hours early.

    Let's get a four-hour head start on rush hour traffic that begins four hours early.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    My Labor Day is shaping up to be busier than any work day this year.

    My Labor Day is shaping up to be busier than any work day this year.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Labor Day begins my slow transition from ogling women outside to ogling women online.

    Labor Day begins my slow transition from ogling women outside to ogling women online.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Glad we could squander your entire Memorial or Labor Day weekend.

    Glad we could squander your entire Memorial or Labor Day weekend.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    I wish I remotely made enough money from my labor to afford a Labor Day vacation.

    I wish I remotely made enough money from my labor to afford a Labor Day vacation.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    FYI, Labor Day is generally the termination date for all my air conditioning-based sexual relationships.

    FYI, Labor Day is generally the termination date for all my air conditioning-based sexual relationships.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    This Labor Day, let's salute American corporations for keeping the Chinese gainfully employed.

    This Labor Day, let's salute American corporations for keeping the Chinese gainfully employed.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    The summer heat has made me exhausted from trying to dress as slutty as everyone else.

    The summer heat has made me exhausted from trying to dress as slutty as everyone else.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Remember to let yourself relax this Labor Day before letting yourself go this winter.

    Remember to let yourself relax this Labor Day before letting yourself go this winter.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    I’m glad the next episode of Breaking Bad isn’t taking Labor Day weekend off.

    I’m glad the next episode of Breaking Bad isn’t taking Labor Day weekend off.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Labor Day is a fitting tribute to the contributions of American workers in industries other than those that recently destroyed America.

    Labor Day is a fitting tribute to the contributions of American workers in industries other than those that recently destroyed America.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I can't stop thinking about you ever since I remembered your building has a roof deck.

    I can't stop thinking about you ever since I remembered your building has a roof deck.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    I'd be more excited about getting away for Labor Day if I wasn't going with the people I need to get away from.

    I'd be more excited about getting away for Labor Day if I wasn't going with the people I need to get away from.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Here's to hopefully still having jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend.

    Here's to hopefully still having jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I always appreciate you warning me about sunburn after I've gotten horribly sunburned.

    I always appreciate you warning me about sunburn after I've gotten horribly sunburned.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Let's thank Clint Eastwood for raising the bar on how incoherent and embarrassing we can be this Labor Day weekend.

    Let's thank Clint Eastwood for raising the bar on how incoherent and embarrassing we can be this Labor Day weekend.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    The Labor Day holiday means I get my unemployment check a day late.

    The Labor Day holiday means I get my unemployment check a day late.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Thanks to the catastrophic greenhouse effect, Labor Day no longer signifies the end of summer.

    Thanks to the catastrophic greenhouse effect, Labor Day no longer signifies the end of summer.

  • Farewell Farewell

    I'm looking forward to a vacation from hearing about other people's vacations.

    I'm looking forward to a vacation from hearing about other people's vacations.

  • Labor Day Labor Day

    Labor Day is a great opportunity to reflect on what you failed to accomplish this summer.

    Labor Day is a great opportunity to reflect on what you failed to accomplish this summer.

DON'T MISS THIS