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  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    I need a vacation after going on vacation with my kids.

    I need a vacation after going on vacation with my kids.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    You can always count on me to help with the cooking when a pizza needs to be defrosted.

    You can always count on me to help with the cooking when a pizza needs to be defrosted.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    Nothing makes me hungrier than watching a parade of stick-thin celebrities walk the red carpet.

    Nothing makes me hungrier than watching a parade of stick-thin celebrities walk the red carpet.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    Let's wear our fanciest pajamas to watch Hollywood celebrate the most glamorous night of the year.

    Let's wear our fanciest pajamas to watch Hollywood celebrate the most glamorous night of the year.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Happy You-Knocked-Up-Mom Day.

    Happy You-Knocked-Up-Mom Day.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    If there were brackets for what to eat for dinner, pizza would always be in my final four.

    If there were brackets for what to eat for dinner, pizza would always be in my final four.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    My skills at filling out college basketball brackets are only slightly better than my defrosting skills.

    My skills at filling out college basketball brackets are only slightly better than my defrosting skills.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    Let's watch college basketball while eating exactly like we did in college.

    Let's watch college basketball while eating exactly like we did in college.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    I'd be more into going out if going out was more like staying home and eating pizza.

    I'd be more into going out if going out was more like staying home and eating pizza.

  • Trop5O Mother's.. Trop5O Mother's..

    Mom, I want to be just like you when I refuse to grow up.

    Mom, I want to be just like you when I refuse to grow up.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    I love pizza more than I love certain members of my family.

    I love pizza more than I love certain members of my family.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    I'm a great cook in that I'm very good at preheating an oven.

    I'm a great cook in that I'm very good at preheating an oven.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    I'll watch football at the friend's house with the worst TV as long as he has the best food.

    I'll watch football at the friend's house with the worst TV as long as he has the best food.

  • Mother's Day Mother's Day

    Happy Mother's Day to a new mom who has yet to mess up someone else's life.

    Happy Mother's Day to a new mom who has yet to mess up someone else's life.

  • Mother's Day Mother's Day

    Thanks for not putting me up for adoption unless you're not really my mom.

    Thanks for not putting me up for adoption unless you're not really my mom.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    If being a mom is a job, I'm overdue for a promotion.

    If being a mom is a job, I'm overdue for a promotion.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    Mom, living on my own has really made me appreciate when you were my chauffeur and personal chef.

    Mom, living on my own has really made me appreciate when you were my chauffeur and personal chef.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    My main fantasy about football is spending all Sunday watching it.

    My main fantasy about football is spending all Sunday watching it.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    Clear eyes, full stomachs, can't lose.

    Clear eyes, full stomachs, can't lose.

  • Mother's Day Mother's Day

    Happy Mother's Day to a mom who didn't intentionally get knocked up to be on MTV.

    Happy Mother's Day to a mom who didn't intentionally get knocked up to be on MTV.

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