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  • Fantasy Sports Fantasy Sports

    I have the utmost confidence that whichever starting lineup you choose will be the wrong one.

    I have the utmost confidence that whichever starting lineup you choose will be the wrong one.

  • Fantasy Sports Fantasy Sports

    I just looked at your roster and threw up in my mouth.

    I just looked at your roster and threw up in my mouth.

  • Sports Sports

    The only thing better than watching Kobe Bryant play is watching Kobe Bryant lose.

    The only thing better than watching Kobe Bryant play is watching Kobe Bryant lose.

  • Sports Sports

    I'm disappointed LeBron James is meeting my preposterously high expectations of him.

    I'm disappointed LeBron James is meeting my preposterously high expectations of him.

  • Sports Sports

    You're the LeBron James of complaining about LeBron James.

    You're the LeBron James of complaining about LeBron James.

  • Sports Sports

    The cancellation of the NBA season may be the closest we'll get to seeing one percenters suffer.

    The cancellation of the NBA season may be the closest we'll get to seeing one percenters suffer.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Let's make this a special Father's Day by getting together to violently root against the Miami Heat.

    Let's make this a special Father's Day by getting together to violently root against the Miami Heat.

  • Sports Sports

    Let's celebrate being nowhere near Miami Heat fans celebrating this weekend.

    Let's celebrate being nowhere near Miami Heat fans celebrating this weekend.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Congratulations to Jason Collins on forever changing the face of professional sports eight years after the WNBA did.

    Congratulations to Jason Collins on forever changing the face of professional sports eight years after the WNBA did.

  • Sports Sports

    Here's to a news story about a professional athlete's sex life that doesn't involve infidelity or sexual assault.

    Here's to a news story about a professional athlete's sex life that doesn't involve infidelity or sexual assault.

  • Sports Sports

    Hating the Miami Heat has finally given me a reason to watch the NBA.

    Hating the Miami Heat has finally given me a reason to watch the NBA.

  • Sports Sports

    The Carmelo Anthony trade makes me wish I was a Denver Nuggets fan.

    The Carmelo Anthony trade makes me wish I was a Denver Nuggets fan.

  • Sports Sports

    The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.

    The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.

  • Sports Sports

    I'd watch more MLB, NBA, and NHL if they had more updates on next season's NFL.

    I'd watch more MLB, NBA, and NHL if they had more updates on next season's NFL.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    Before you, my life was like watching a Knicks game without Jeremy Lin playing.

    Before you, my life was like watching a Knicks game without Jeremy Lin playing.

  • Sports Sports

    Sorry to Eagles fans that the NFL isn't in a lockout too.

    Sorry to Eagles fans that the NFL isn't in a lockout too.

  • Movies Movies

    I hope someday there's a lockout involving Twilight movies.

    I hope someday there's a lockout involving Twilight movies.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'm seeking a monogamous relationship with a good-looking French-born NBA star seven years younger than me.

    I'm seeking a monogamous relationship with a good-looking French-born NBA star seven years younger than me.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'm as excited for the NBA to get back to work as I am for me to get back to work on Monday morning.

    I'm as excited for the NBA to get back to work as I am for me to get back to work on Monday morning.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    The only thing that could soften the loss of James Gandolfini would be a loss by the Miami Heat.

    The only thing that could soften the loss of James Gandolfini would be a loss by the Miami Heat.

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