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  • Halloween Halloween

    Let's dress as opposing political parties this Halloween and end the night with some hate-sex.

    Let's dress as opposing political parties this Halloween and end the night with some hate-sex.

  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    Super Bowl parties are a great opportunity to enjoy a wholesome event with friends and perhaps meet a man who prefers sex with women.

    Super Bowl parties are a great opportunity to enjoy a wholesome event with friends and perhaps meet a man who prefers sex with women.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    It's now clear that psychotic town hall debates and creepy tea parties won't impact health care reform as much as a guy who posed nude for Cosmo.

    It's now clear that psychotic town hall debates and creepy tea parties won't impact health care reform as much as a guy who posed nude for Cosmo.

  • LGBT LGBT

    A same-sex marriage would offer us the opportunity for two bachelor parties.

    A same-sex marriage would offer us the opportunity for two bachelor parties.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    It was great hearing both political parties map out how they'll prevent each other from getting anything done for another four years.

    It was great hearing both political parties map out how they'll prevent each other from getting anything done for another four years.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    It's heartening to see both political parties uniting over who we should bomb the shit out of.

    It's heartening to see both political parties uniting over who we should bomb the shit out of.

  • New Year's New Year's

    Let's not spend New Year's Eve trying to figure out where to spend New Year's Eve.

    Let's not spend New Year's Eve trying to figure out where to spend New Year's Eve.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    Being a Secret Santa is pretty much the only office secret you've ever kept.

    Being a Secret Santa is pretty much the only office secret you've ever kept.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    I’m dreaming of a white Christmas so the roads will be too dangerous to drive to your party.

    I’m dreaming of a white Christmas so the roads will be too dangerous to drive to your party.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I wish both political parties would stop disparaging unattractive farm animals in need of makeup.

    I wish both political parties would stop disparaging unattractive farm animals in need of makeup.

  • Red Bull Red Bull

    You're invited to parties mainly for your skills at sharing party photos on Facebook.

    You're invited to parties mainly for your skills at sharing party photos on Facebook.

  • Hpnotiq Harmonie Hpnotiq Harmonie

    I love going to bachelorette parties with you as long as neither of us is the bachelorette.

    I love going to bachelorette parties with you as long as neither of us is the bachelorette.

  • Best Feelings Best Feelings

    To all of the people who didn't win tonight, at least you won't be resented at the after parties.

    To all of the people who didn't win tonight, at least you won't be resented at the after parties.

  • Red Bull Red Bull

    Summer parties are my favorite venue to share other people's food, drinks, and air conditioning.

    Summer parties are my favorite venue to share other people's food, drinks, and air conditioning.

  • Curve Appeal Curve Appeal

    You're the type of coworker who makes office parties almost enjoyable.

    You're the type of coworker who makes office parties almost enjoyable.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    The relentless barrage of weekend holiday parties has actually made me look forward to Mondays.

    The relentless barrage of weekend holiday parties has actually made me look forward to Mondays.

  • New Year's New Year's

    Avoid noisy, expensive, overhyped New Year's Eve parties by hanging out at our place wondering what you're missing at those parties.

    Avoid noisy, expensive, overhyped New Year's Eve parties by hanging out at our place wondering what you're missing at those parties.

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