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  • Anniversary Anniversary

    It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.

    It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.

  • Sports Sports

    France's surrender on the World Cup soccer pitch reminds me of pretty much every other aspect of French history.

    France's surrender on the World Cup soccer pitch reminds me of pretty much every other aspect of French history.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

    I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

  • Mother's Day Mother's Day

    Happy Mother's Day, even though I pretty much raised myself.

    Happy Mother's Day, even though I pretty much raised myself.

  • Workplace Workplace

    We're pretty sure we won't hire you but not so sure that we'll stop wasting your time.

    We're pretty sure we won't hire you but not so sure that we'll stop wasting your time.

  • Passover Passover

    This is the day of Passover where I'd pretty much stab someone for a real sandwich.

    This is the day of Passover where I'd pretty much stab someone for a real sandwich.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Sorry I failed to acknowledge your birthday even though it was clearly posted on Facebook and I pretty much never log out of Facebook or leave my house.

    Sorry I failed to acknowledge your birthday even though it was clearly posted on Facebook and I pretty much never log out of Facebook or leave my house.

  • Yom Kippur Yom Kippur

    Fasting for Yom Kippur is pretty much the only time I wish I was eating Matzah on Passover.

    Fasting for Yom Kippur is pretty much the only time I wish I was eating Matzah on Passover.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    The Christmas season and pretty much any other point in history are the toughest times to be Jewish.

    The Christmas season and pretty much any other point in history are the toughest times to be Jewish.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    You ride pretty damn fast for a guy with two testicles.

    You ride pretty damn fast for a guy with two testicles.

  • Cry for Help Cry for Help

    I'm pretty sure that fine line between recreational use and addiction is the one I just snorted.

    I'm pretty sure that fine line between recreational use and addiction is the one I just snorted.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    You have a pretty strong opinion on Stephen Colbert for someone who goes to bed at 9:30pm.

    You have a pretty strong opinion on Stephen Colbert for someone who goes to bed at 9:30pm.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    You're a very pretty guy.

    You're a very pretty guy.

  • Chili's Happy.. Chili's Happy..

    I'm pretty sure it's office policy that summer Happy Hours start at lunch.

    I'm pretty sure it's office policy that summer Happy Hours start at lunch.

  • Music Music

    My new favorite bands are pretty much my old favorite bands.

    My new favorite bands are pretty much my old favorite bands.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Happy Father's Day to someone who I'm pretty sure became a dad on purpose.

    Happy Father's Day to someone who I'm pretty sure became a dad on purpose.

  • Confession Confession

    My weekend is pretty open.

    My weekend is pretty open.

  • Napoleon.. Napoleon..

    If I ever have kids and get killed in a car accident I totally want you to raise them, and get my car fixed cause it'd probably be a pretty sweet car.

    If I ever have kids and get killed in a car accident I totally want you to raise them, and get my car fixed cause it'd probably be a pretty sweet car.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    You look really good for someone who eats horribly, doesn't exercise, and drinks entirely too much.

    You look really good for someone who eats horribly, doesn't exercise, and drinks entirely too much.

  • Gay Pride Month Gay Pride Month

    Admit that having gay pride is pretty gay.

    Admit that having gay pride is pretty gay.

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