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  • Passover Passover

    If bread had a cell phone during Passover, I'd sext it.

    If bread had a cell phone during Passover, I'd sext it.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Here's to having as much fun this weekend as Carlos Danger in a free wifi hotspot.

    Here's to having as much fun this weekend as Carlos Danger in a free wifi hotspot.

  • Reminders Reminders

    It may be time to retire if you find yourself trying to impress employees with pictures of your genitals.

    It may be time to retire if you find yourself trying to impress employees with pictures of your genitals.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Feel free to sext me once you have the finely toned pecs of a nerdy New York congressman.

    Feel free to sext me once you have the finely toned pecs of a nerdy New York congressman.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I promise you'll never catch me sexting someone because it's too hard to type on my smartphone.

    I promise you'll never catch me sexting someone because it's too hard to type on my smartphone.

  • Confession Confession

    I wished I loved anything as much as Anthony Weiner loves showing his penis to strangers.

    I wished I loved anything as much as Anthony Weiner loves showing his penis to strangers.

  • Confession Confession

    I'd cheat on me too.

    I'd cheat on me too.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I find it shocking that Jesse James' skanky sext-loving stripper-mom mistress never slept with Tiger Woods.

    I find it shocking that Jesse James' skanky sext-loving stripper-mom mistress never slept with Tiger Woods.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd brave taking off my gloves in record cold temperatures to text you something inappropriate.

    I'd brave taking off my gloves in record cold temperatures to text you something inappropriate.

  • Sympathy Sympathy

    Sorry you have all the sexual compulsions of a sleazy politician without any of the career success.

    Sorry you have all the sexual compulsions of a sleazy politician without any of the career success.

  • Farewell Farewell

    May you travel as far and often this summer as Anthony Weiner's crotch shots.

    May you travel as far and often this summer as Anthony Weiner's crotch shots.

  • Animated Text Animated Text

    Don't Sext And Drive.

    Don't Sext And Drive.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    May your day be filled with consensual sexts.

    May your day be filled with consensual sexts.

  • Flirting Flirting

    There's nothing less erotic than a sext from an iPhone 4.

    There's nothing less erotic than a sext from an iPhone 4.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Not even the biggest sex scandal of the last decade can get me to watch a golf tournament.

    Not even the biggest sex scandal of the last decade can get me to watch a golf tournament.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Maybe you can get a job teaching professional athletes how to delete sexts.

    Maybe you can get a job teaching professional athletes how to delete sexts.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's stop investigating Chris Christie before we discover he's been sending out nude photos of himself.

    Let's stop investigating Chris Christie before we discover he's been sending out nude photos of himself.

  • Flirting Flirting

    You're so hot I finished before your Snapchat pic disappeared.

    You're so hot I finished before your Snapchat pic disappeared.

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