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  • Birthday Birthday

    Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.

    Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    Christmas shopping for you has made me realize that I know absolutely nothing about you.

    Christmas shopping for you has made me realize that I know absolutely nothing about you.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift.

    There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift.

  • Retailmenot Retailmenot

    My favorite holiday activity is redeeming coupons at the store so I can mock shoppers who paid full price.

    My favorite holiday activity is redeeming coupons at the store so I can mock shoppers who paid full price.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    It must be love since finding you the right holiday gift is causing me debilitating stress.

    It must be love since finding you the right holiday gift is causing me debilitating stress.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    I wish there was a holiday deal on hiring someone to delete all the emails I receive about holiday deals.

    I wish there was a holiday deal on hiring someone to delete all the emails I receive about holiday deals.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Sorry I tricked you into taking me shopping on Father's Day.

    Sorry I tricked you into taking me shopping on Father's Day.

  • Retailmenot Retailmenot

    Shopping online for my family's gifts gives me more time with my family to regret buying them gifts.

    Shopping online for my family's gifts gives me more time with my family to regret buying them gifts.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    Just wanted to make sure you didn't believe me when I said I didn't want anything expensive for Christmas.

    Just wanted to make sure you didn't believe me when I said I didn't want anything expensive for Christmas.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's get our mind off America's debt crisis by maxing out our credit cards on a reckless shopping binge.

    Let's get our mind off America's debt crisis by maxing out our credit cards on a reckless shopping binge.

  • Sympathy Sympathy

    I hope your Black Friday injuries aren't so severe that you can't click a mouse on Cyber Monday.

    I hope your Black Friday injuries aren't so severe that you can't click a mouse on Cyber Monday.

  • Retailmenot Retailmenot

    I shop online to make it easier to brag about the savings on Facebook and Twitter.

    I shop online to make it easier to brag about the savings on Facebook and Twitter.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I hope shopping on Cyber Monday doesn't take too much time away from your regular schedule of wasting the day on the Internet.

    I hope shopping on Cyber Monday doesn't take too much time away from your regular schedule of wasting the day on the Internet.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    You're a hard person to half-assedly shop for.

    You're a hard person to half-assedly shop for.

  • Hanukkah Hanukkah

    I hope Hanukkah shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday saved you money but not enough to perpetuate a stereotype.

    I hope Hanukkah shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday saved you money but not enough to perpetuate a stereotype.

  • Retailmenot Retailmenot

    Sorry if you were the person I shoved out of the way to get your gift on Black Friday.

    Sorry if you were the person I shoved out of the way to get your gift on Black Friday.

  • Small Business.. Small Business..

    Happy National Small Business Week to someone who won't shut up about how local and organic their shopping is.

    Happy National Small Business Week to someone who won't shut up about how local and organic their shopping is.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    I hope your recently cleared browser history means you've been shopping for my Valentine's Day present.

    I hope your recently cleared browser history means you've been shopping for my Valentine's Day present.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.

    This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    I found the perfect gift for someone with money to get you.

    I found the perfect gift for someone with money to get you.

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