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  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Let's send our thoughts and prayers to Atlanta and anywhere else that can't handle three inches of snow.

    Let's send our thoughts and prayers to Atlanta and anywhere else that can't handle three inches of snow.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    I hope you have a white Christmas with your very white family.

    I hope you have a white Christmas with your very white family.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    It’s so cold that I almost want to go to Florida.

    It’s so cold that I almost want to go to Florida.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    My standards are dropping as quickly as the temperature.

    My standards are dropping as quickly as the temperature.

  • Lent Lent

    Let's hope this Lent we're able to give up freezing our asses off for 40 days.

    Let's hope this Lent we're able to give up freezing our asses off for 40 days.

  • Sympathy Sympathy

    Sorry the freakish weather knocked out the power needed to run your blog about climate change being a myth.

    Sorry the freakish weather knocked out the power needed to run your blog about climate change being a myth.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I'm seeking someone to shack up with for the winter.

    I'm seeking someone to shack up with for the winter.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    Here's hoping snowstorm preparation is the only reason you need fresh batteries this Valentine's Day.

    Here's hoping snowstorm preparation is the only reason you need fresh batteries this Valentine's Day.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I miss hating the summer heat.

    I miss hating the summer heat.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I wish it would snow so I could complain about the snow.

    I wish it would snow so I could complain about the snow.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    Your street won't be the only thing getting plowed this Valentine's Day.

    Your street won't be the only thing getting plowed this Valentine's Day.

  • Thanksgiving Thanksgiving

    I look forward to hearing you complain about how difficult it was to travel here.

    I look forward to hearing you complain about how difficult it was to travel here.

  • Flirting Flirting

    If I was going to dig my car out to see anyone, it'd be you.

    If I was going to dig my car out to see anyone, it'd be you.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    I'm getting all the demented drama I expect on Valentine's Day just by staying home to watch House of Cards.

    I'm getting all the demented drama I expect on Valentine's Day just by staying home to watch House of Cards.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    May the making of snow angels not be the only time you spread your legs this winter.

    May the making of snow angels not be the only time you spread your legs this winter.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Let's bond over the periodic inconvenience of atmospheric precipitation.

    Let's bond over the periodic inconvenience of atmospheric precipitation.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Taking a snow day is a great way to avoid having to hear everyone at work making fun of you for taking a snow day.

    Taking a snow day is a great way to avoid having to hear everyone at work making fun of you for taking a snow day.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I hope my complaints about the weather have made the weather seem comparatively less annoying.

    I hope my complaints about the weather have made the weather seem comparatively less annoying.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Happy birthday to someone who looks young considering how many years this winter has taken off their life.

    Happy birthday to someone who looks young considering how many years this winter has taken off their life.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Commuting to work in a snowstorm is all the work I'm doing today.

    Commuting to work in a snowstorm is all the work I'm doing today.

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