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  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    It must be love if our relationship has lasted longer than the life cycle of a first generation Apple product.

    It must be love if our relationship has lasted longer than the life cycle of a first generation Apple product.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I can't wait to see if the new iPhone will be able to remind drunk Apple engineers not to leave it in bars.

    I can't wait to see if the new iPhone will be able to remind drunk Apple engineers not to leave it in bars.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    May this be the iPhone upgrade that makes your life bearable.

    May this be the iPhone upgrade that makes your life bearable.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life.

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life.

  • Confession Confession

    I can't wait to obsess over, overspend on, and then complain about whatever product Steve Jobs unveils next.

    I can't wait to obsess over, overspend on, and then complain about whatever product Steve Jobs unveils next.

  • Confession Confession

    I wish Sarah Palin was an Apple product so that she'd be completely obsolete in six months.

    I wish Sarah Palin was an Apple product so that she'd be completely obsolete in six months.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    R.I.P. Steve Jobs, and thanks for creating a world where I never had to buy a Zune.

    R.I.P. Steve Jobs, and thanks for creating a world where I never had to buy a Zune.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's mourn the passing of a man who could never be replaced by a better model.

    Let's mourn the passing of a man who could never be replaced by a better model.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'd spend more time grieving the loss of Steve Jobs if I could stop playing with my iPhone.

    I'd spend more time grieving the loss of Steve Jobs if I could stop playing with my iPhone.

  • Sympathy Sympathy

    Sorry no one cares that the creator of your electronic device is still alive.

    Sorry no one cares that the creator of your electronic device is still alive.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    I'd wait for you even longer than Verizon waited for the chance to sell Apple products.

    I'd wait for you even longer than Verizon waited for the chance to sell Apple products.

  • Confession Confession

    I'd be sadder losing my iPhone than losing the friends whose numbers are in it.

    I'd be sadder losing my iPhone than losing the friends whose numbers are in it.

  • Halloween Halloween

    I'll buy you the new iPhone this Halloween if you promise not to go as Zombie Steve Jobs.

    I'll buy you the new iPhone this Halloween if you promise not to go as Zombie Steve Jobs.

  • Confession Confession

    I'd get the new MacBook Air if it didn't make me look so fat.

    I'd get the new MacBook Air if it didn't make me look so fat.

  • Halloween Halloween

    I'd dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn't already entail being asked stupid questions all day.

    I'd dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn't already entail being asked stupid questions all day.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever creates could fully replace you in my life.

    Nothing Steve Jobs ever creates could fully replace you in my life.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    An iPad is the perfect device for walking people through your flimsy rationalizations for buying an iPad.

    An iPad is the perfect device for walking people through your flimsy rationalizations for buying an iPad.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Don't forget the consequences of getting an iPad could be getting ebooks for your birthday.

    Don't forget the consequences of getting an iPad could be getting ebooks for your birthday.

  • Music Music

    I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder.

    I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder.

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