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  • Drinking Drinking

    I'd love to have you over to my pool if I wasn't afraid of you drunkenly drowning in it.

    I'd love to have you over to my pool if I wasn't afraid of you drunkenly drowning in it.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    If we're ever attacked by a shark, take comfort in knowing you'll be eaten quickly while I frantically swim away.

    If we're ever attacked by a shark, take comfort in knowing you'll be eaten quickly while I frantically swim away.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Sorry it struck you as weird that I was in your pool for hours without leaving once to go to the bathroom.

    Sorry it struck you as weird that I was in your pool for hours without leaving once to go to the bathroom.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I hope to see you in a bathing suit outside of Facebook this summer.

    I hope to see you in a bathing suit outside of Facebook this summer.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Summer Badge: This serves to applaud you exiting the pool before urinating in it.

    Summer Badge: This serves to applaud you exiting the pool before urinating in it.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thank you for still being my friend even after seeing how slowly I enter a pool.

    Thank you for still being my friend even after seeing how slowly I enter a pool.

  • Cute Therapy Cute Therapy

    Being single may suck but at least you don't have to swim hundreds of miles upstream for a date.

    Being single may suck but at least you don't have to swim hundreds of miles upstream for a date.

  • TV TV

    I'd swim with sharks to get out of listening to you talk about Shark Week.

    I'd swim with sharks to get out of listening to you talk about Shark Week.

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