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  • Wedding Wedding

    We can hardly wait for you to blow your tax refund on our destination wedding.

    We can hardly wait for you to blow your tax refund on our destination wedding.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Let's celebrate there being no deadline for complaining about taxes.

    Let's celebrate there being no deadline for complaining about taxes.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Having a friend like you could conceivably be some sort of tax deduction.

    Having a friend like you could conceivably be some sort of tax deduction.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    I'm seeking a tax return high enough to just barely keep me out of prison.

    I'm seeking a tax return high enough to just barely keep me out of prison.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Sorry for evading taxes.

    Sorry for evading taxes.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    You should deduct your boob job since it helps keep you gainfully employed.

    You should deduct your boob job since it helps keep you gainfully employed.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    I know we've barely met but I wanted to say thanks for letting me claim you as a dependent.

    I know we've barely met but I wanted to say thanks for letting me claim you as a dependent.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    I hope your audit doesn't reveal any of your extramarital affairs.

    I hope your audit doesn't reveal any of your extramarital affairs.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    I'm glad I only have to pay taxes on what I make and not what I tell everyone I make.

    I'm glad I only have to pay taxes on what I make and not what I tell everyone I make.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Just a reminder that you still have plenty of time to do your taxes at the last minute.

    Just a reminder that you still have plenty of time to do your taxes at the last minute.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    I will love you no matter how dissimilar our tax brackets are.

    I will love you no matter how dissimilar our tax brackets are.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    My taxes are extremely high because I'm too cheap to pay someone to do my taxes.

    My taxes are extremely high because I'm too cheap to pay someone to do my taxes.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Tax season is when you get to experience the real benefits of pretending to give to charity.

    Tax season is when you get to experience the real benefits of pretending to give to charity.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Sorry you don't believe in paying taxes or in the federal prison system that will soon house you.

    Sorry you don't believe in paying taxes or in the federal prison system that will soon house you.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    I fondly remember our tax-deductible times together.

    I fondly remember our tax-deductible times together.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    It must be nice to no longer have to check the sad little 'single' box on your tax return.

    It must be nice to no longer have to check the sad little "single" box on your tax return.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Doing your taxes on April Fool's Day seems like a perfectly legitimate way to defraud the government.

    Doing your taxes on April Fool's Day seems like a perfectly legitimate way to defraud the government.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Congratulations on your salary or work hours being reduced enough to improve your tax bracket.

    Congratulations on your salary or work hours being reduced enough to improve your tax bracket.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Taking me out for my birthday seems extravagant in this economy so I'd prefer if you just paid my taxes.

    Taking me out for my birthday seems extravagant in this economy so I'd prefer if you just paid my taxes.

  • Tax Day Tax Day

    Curious if you know of any tax breaks for people who didn't commit a heinous financial crime this year.

    Curious if you know of any tax breaks for people who didn't commit a heinous financial crime this year.

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