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  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    Let's liven up our holiday festivities by resurrecting an unresolved family argument.

    Let's liven up our holiday festivities by resurrecting an unresolved family argument.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    The only true hangover remedy is to never stop being drunk.

    The only true hangover remedy is to never stop being drunk.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    I like to have a glass of wine to relax after a long glass of wine.

    I like to have a glass of wine to relax after a long glass of wine.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    Thanks for making me feel better about myself by being slightly more dysfunctional than me.

    Thanks for making me feel better about myself by being slightly more dysfunctional than me.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    You're like family to me in that I find myself drinking even more than usual when you're around.

    You're like family to me in that I find myself drinking even more than usual when you're around.

  • Ground Floor Ground Floor

    Congratulations on doing good enough work to get your boss promoted.

    Congratulations on doing good enough work to get your boss promoted.

  • TV TV

    Be careful when tuning in to Conan that you don't accidentally tune in to George Lopez.

    Be careful when tuning in to Conan that you don't accidentally tune in to George Lopez.

  • Ground Floor Ground Floor

    I'd sleep with my boss if his incompetence at work didn't make me question his competence in bed.

    I'd sleep with my boss if his incompetence at work didn't make me question his competence in bed.

  • TV TV

    I blame Jay Leno for my guilt over not actually liking Conan.

    I blame Jay Leno for my guilt over not actually liking Conan.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    Please refrain from tagging me in holiday party photos because I need to keep my job next year.

    Please refrain from tagging me in holiday party photos because I need to keep my job next year.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    I have a wine that pairs perfectly with gossiping about our friends.

    I have a wine that pairs perfectly with gossiping about our friends.

  • TV TV

    Congratulations to Conan on not getting replaced by the guy he replaced.

    Congratulations to Conan on not getting replaced by the guy he replaced.

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