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  • Weekend Weekend

    I obeyed all the traffic laws, except the one about drunk driving.

    I obeyed all the traffic laws, except the one about drunk driving.

  • Memorial Day Memorial Day

    At least being in a car in standstill traffic on Memorial Day meant you didn't get sunburned on the nicest day of the weekend.

    At least being in a car in standstill traffic on Memorial Day meant you didn't get sunburned on the nicest day of the weekend.

  • Ford Fiesta Ford Fiesta

    I'd sit in rush hour traffic with you forever, unless we were listening to your music.

    I'd sit in rush hour traffic with you forever, unless we were listening to your music.

  • Memorial Day Memorial Day

    The only traffic I plan to encounter this Memorial Day weekend is on the Internet.

    The only traffic I plan to encounter this Memorial Day weekend is on the Internet.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I'm staying inside this weekend just in case Chris Christie is mad at someone from my town.

    I'm staying inside this weekend just in case Chris Christie is mad at someone from my town.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Let's get a four-hour head start on rush hour traffic that begins four hours early.

    Let's get a four-hour head start on rush hour traffic that begins four hours early.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    The beach is a great place to relieve the soul-crushing stress you build up in the traffic going to the beach.

    The beach is a great place to relieve the soul-crushing stress you build up in the traffic going to the beach.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Here's to Chris Christie for trying his best to keep New Jerseyans away from the rest of the country.

    Here's to Chris Christie for trying his best to keep New Jerseyans away from the rest of the country.

  • Gay Pride Month Gay Pride Month

    Let's celebrate our sexual orientation by making it impossible for people to cross town this weekend.

    Let's celebrate our sexual orientation by making it impossible for people to cross town this weekend.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Just a reminder to be careful about using email for sensitive issues like creating a man-made traffic disaster in New Jersey.

    Just a reminder to be careful about using email for sensitive issues like creating a man-made traffic disaster in New Jersey.

  • Thanksgiving Thanksgiving

    One reason I live with my parents is to beat Thanksgiving traffic.

    One reason I live with my parents is to beat Thanksgiving traffic.

  • Memorial Day Memorial Day

    A great way to avoid Memorial Day weekend traffic is to avoid leaving the house on Memorial Day weekend.

    A great way to avoid Memorial Day weekend traffic is to avoid leaving the house on Memorial Day weekend.

  • Confession Confession

    Your taste in music has me worried about getting stuck in traffic together.

    Your taste in music has me worried about getting stuck in traffic together.

  • Confession Confession

    I hope I die doing what I love, looking down at my phone while walking into traffic.

    I hope I die doing what I love, looking down at my phone while walking into traffic.

  • Sports Sports

    Most bike riders don't need to be Lance Armstrong for me to want to punch them in the face.

    Most bike riders don't need to be Lance Armstrong for me to want to punch them in the face.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm shocked at how much planning it took to cause traffic in New Jersey.

    I'm shocked at how much planning it took to cause traffic in New Jersey.

  • Memorial Day Memorial Day

    This Memorial Day, let's try not to open fire on hostile drivers.

    This Memorial Day, let's try not to open fire on hostile drivers.

  • Independence Day Independence Day

    I hope twenty minutes of watching fireworks is worth the three hours it takes to find parking to watch fireworks.

    I hope twenty minutes of watching fireworks is worth the three hours it takes to find parking to watch fireworks.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I wish Chris Christie would create dangerous conditions on my commute so I'd have a valid excuse to be late for work.

    I wish Chris Christie would create dangerous conditions on my commute so I'd have a valid excuse to be late for work.

  • Independence Day Independence Day

    This July 4th, let's celebrate our freedom to be trapped for five hours in horrifying standstill traffic.

    This July 4th, let's celebrate our freedom to be trapped for five hours in horrifying standstill traffic.

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