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  • Cry for Help Cry for Help

    I can't even get felt up by a TSA agent.

    I can't even get felt up by a TSA agent.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd happily mule some narcotics if I knew you'd be waiting to give me a cavity search in the TSA line.

    I'd happily mule some narcotics if I knew you'd be waiting to give me a cavity search in the TSA line.

  • Farewell Farewell

    Hope you have a safe, stab-free flight.

    Hope you have a safe, stab-free flight.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    With Osama Bin Laden dead, maybe we can finally go through an airport without being treated like we're Osama Bin Laden.

    With Osama Bin Laden dead, maybe we can finally go through an airport without being treated like we're Osama Bin Laden.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm more scared of the TSA than I am of terrorists.

    I'm more scared of the TSA than I am of terrorists.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    9/11 is the one day of the year I'm perfectly okay with the TSA fondling my genitals.

    9/11 is the one day of the year I'm perfectly okay with the TSA fondling my genitals.

  • Farewell Farewell

    The TSA relaxing its policy on knives will make it easier to stab yourself after going through a soul-crushing TSA patdown.

    The TSA relaxing its policy on knives will make it easier to stab yourself after going through a soul-crushing TSA patdown.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Going through airport security these days is going to make it extremely difficult to stay in the closet.

    Going through airport security these days is going to make it extremely difficult to stay in the closet.

  • Farewell Farewell

    Don't forget to have a dismal and degrading airport experience.

    Don't forget to have a dismal and degrading airport experience.

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