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  • Birthday Birthday

    Happy birthday to someone old enough to have a Blockbuster card.

    Happy birthday to someone old enough to have a Blockbuster card.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm anti-Kony almost as much as I'm anti-your-anti-Kony Facebook posts.

    I'm anti-Kony almost as much as I'm anti-your-anti-Kony Facebook posts.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Sorry to Rick Perry supporters that the number of gay Americans is higher than the number of Rick Perry supporters.

    Sorry to Rick Perry supporters that the number of gay Americans is higher than the number of Rick Perry supporters.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's thank Kony 2012 for making it possible to hate someone more than we hate Rush Limbaugh.

    Let's thank Kony 2012 for making it possible to hate someone more than we hate Rush Limbaugh.

  • Bethenny Ever.. Bethenny Ever..

    Never stop believing that you're low maintenance.

    Never stop believing that you're low maintenance.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Just an FYI that watching the Kony video doesn't count as 30 minutes of charity work.

    Just an FYI that watching the Kony video doesn't count as 30 minutes of charity work.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I feel violated knowing that a peephole video of Erin Andrews naked may unsuspectingly link to a malicious software virus.

    I feel violated knowing that a peephole video of Erin Andrews naked may unsuspectingly link to a malicious software virus.

  • Borderlands 2 Borderlands 2

    Nothing goes better with friends than high explosives.

    Nothing goes better with friends than high explosives.

  • Borderlands 2 Borderlands 2

    Work would be a lot better if it involved blowing things up.

    Work would be a lot better if it involved blowing things up.

  • Borderlands 2 Borderlands 2

    I'd risk my life to protect you, provided I had a giant gun and extra lives.

    I'd risk my life to protect you, provided I had a giant gun and extra lives.

  • Veterans Day Veterans Day

    Happy Veterans Day from someone who can barely handle the simulated warfare of video games.

    Happy Veterans Day from someone who can barely handle the simulated warfare of video games.

  • Borderlands 2 Borderlands 2

    I'm glad you're sexy when you're angry considering how often you're angry at me.

    I'm glad you're sexy when you're angry considering how often you're angry at me.

  • Borderlands 2 Borderlands 2

    You're a great conversationalist in that you say nothing while I talk.

    You're a great conversationalist in that you say nothing while I talk.

  • Laugh Your Ass.. Laugh Your Ass..

    I'd totally watch your Internet video if it was on television, had famous people in it, and was funny.

    I'd totally watch your Internet video if it was on television, had famous people in it, and was funny.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Let's party like rock stars who only play video games.

    Let's party like rock stars who only play video games.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd watch an online video of you even if it meant first sitting through an ad that lasted longer than 15 seconds.

    I'd watch an online video of you even if it meant first sitting through an ad that lasted longer than 15 seconds.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's applaud Mitt Romney for proving to the Middle East that there are more disastrous videos than Innocence Of Muslims.

    Let's applaud Mitt Romney for proving to the Middle East that there are more disastrous videos than Innocence Of Muslims.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    I hope your presidential candidate can get back to only embarrassing himself by saying things he doesn't actually believe.

    I hope your presidential candidate can get back to only embarrassing himself by saying things he doesn't actually believe.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for never secretly videotaping me when I'm insulting a large group of people I barely know.

    Thanks for never secretly videotaping me when I'm insulting a large group of people I barely know.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I hope the Academy remembers to honor Blockbuster Video during this year's In Memoriam segment.

    I hope the Academy remembers to honor Blockbuster Video during this year's In Memoriam segment.

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