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  • U.S. U.S.

    Making it impossible to say you're from Washington without having to further clarify.

    Making it impossible to say you're from Washington without having to further clarify.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Make sure to let your mom know you weren't in Boston, Texas, the White House, or a Mississippi Senator's office this week.

    Make sure to let your mom know you weren't in Boston, Texas, the White House, or a Mississippi Senator's office this week.

  • MLK Day MLK Day

    I have a dream that all colors and creeds will harmoniously blow off work and school on a random Monday in January.

    I have a dream that all colors and creeds will harmoniously blow off work and school on a random Monday in January.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Almost as dangerous as actual Colombia.

    Almost as dangerous as actual Colombia.

  • U.S. U.S.

    All the Abraham Lincoln motionless in a chair, none of the gushing mortal head wound.

    All the Abraham Lincoln motionless in a chair, none of the gushing mortal head wound.

  • U.S. U.S.

    As seen in the Nicolas Cage movie National Treasure!

    As seen in the Nicolas Cage movie National Treasure!

  • U.S. U.S.

    A monument to the fact that not everyone's fathers can be Senators or wealthy businessmen.

    A monument to the fact that not everyone's fathers can be Senators or wealthy businessmen.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Over 555 feet tall, even when it's cold out.

    Over 555 feet tall, even when it's cold out.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Congratulations to Beyoncé on somehow being the most dishonest person in Washington, D.C. yesterday.

    Congratulations to Beyoncé on somehow being the most dishonest person in Washington, D.C. yesterday.

  • Presidents Day Presidents Day

    On this day, let's honor only a few of our nation's presidents.

    On this day, let's honor only a few of our nation's presidents.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    I hope being really stoned doesn't dull your excitement over the legalization of marijuana.

    I hope being really stoned doesn't dull your excitement over the legalization of marijuana.

  • Presidents Day Presidents Day

    Presidents Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.

    Presidents Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.

  • Presidents Day Presidents Day

    I don't even think being president could get me to give a shit about Presidents Day.

    I don't even think being president could get me to give a shit about Presidents Day.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I was worried about you during the earthquake and even more so when you checked into Foursquare during it.

    I was worried about you during the earthquake and even more so when you checked into Foursquare during it.

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