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  • Workplace Workplace

    Wednesday means we’re halfway through half-assing our work for the week.

    Wednesday means we’re halfway through half-assing our work for the week.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd like to elevate you from a Wednesday to a Saturday night date.

    I'd like to elevate you from a Wednesday to a Saturday night date.

  • Lent Lent

    I'm going to give up TV for Lent except for all the programming I recorded before Lent.

    I'm going to give up TV for Lent except for all the programming I recorded before Lent.

  • Confession Confession

    Wednesdays are that beautiful time in between inane questions about my weekend.

    Wednesdays are that beautiful time in between inane questions about my weekend.

  • Lent Lent

    Let's hope this Lent we're able to give up freezing our asses off for 40 days.

    Let's hope this Lent we're able to give up freezing our asses off for 40 days.

  • Lent Lent

    I'm giving up drinking for Lent and giving up Lent for St. Patrick's Day.

    I'm giving up drinking for Lent and giving up Lent for St. Patrick's Day.

  • Lent Lent

    I wish my coworkers would give up talking to me for Lent.

    I wish my coworkers would give up talking to me for Lent.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's just hope all the undecided voters remember to vote on Wednesday.

    Let's just hope all the undecided voters remember to vote on Wednesday.

  • Lent Lent

    I'd consider following Christ if he was on Twitter.

    I'd consider following Christ if he was on Twitter.

  • Lent Lent

    You may as well wait 40 more days to call me because I'm giving up flaky guys for Lent.

    You may as well wait 40 more days to call me because I'm giving up flaky guys for Lent.

  • Lent Lent

    This Ash Wednesday, best wishes on proving you love Jesus more than you love not looking ridiculous in front of your peers.

    This Ash Wednesday, best wishes on proving you love Jesus more than you love not looking ridiculous in front of your peers.

  • Lent Lent

    I'm giving up Internet porn for Lent so I'll be needing a lot more actual sex.

    I'm giving up Internet porn for Lent so I'll be needing a lot more actual sex.

  • Lent Lent

    This Lent, I'm giving up fantasizing about all the things I was going to buy with the Christmas bonus I never got.

    This Lent, I'm giving up fantasizing about all the things I was going to buy with the Christmas bonus I never got.

  • Lent Lent

    I hope your Ash Wednesday isn't ruined by being reminded you're going to die.

    I hope your Ash Wednesday isn't ruined by being reminded you're going to die.

  • Lent Lent

    Let's give up our worst vices with the understanding that in about a month we'll indulge them with twice the fervor.

    Let's give up our worst vices with the understanding that in about a month we'll indulge them with twice the fervor.

  • Lent Lent

    Though neither of us has entered a church in years, I propose we leave work to spend six minutes getting ashes on our foreheads and 2 1/2 hours eating lunch.

    Though neither of us has entered a church in years, I propose we leave work to spend six minutes getting ashes on our foreheads and 2 1/2 hours eating lunch.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'd really appreciate it if you didn't wish me a Happy Hump Day on 9/11.

    I'd really appreciate it if you didn't wish me a Happy Hump Day on 9/11.

  • Independence Day Independence Day

    Let's celebrate our freedom to complain about July 4th falling in the middle of the week.

    Let's celebrate our freedom to complain about July 4th falling in the middle of the week.

  • Drinking Drinking

    Let's help each other get through this unpleasant interlude between Monday morning hangovers and Thursday night drinking.

    Let's help each other get through this unpleasant interlude between Monday morning hangovers and Thursday night drinking.

  • Chili's Happy.. Chili's Happy..

    Let's make up for Cinco de Mayo being on a Saturday by starting our celebration on Wednesday.

    Let's make up for Cinco de Mayo being on a Saturday by starting our celebration on Wednesday.

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