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  • Breakup Breakup

    This breakup is better than Weight Watchers.

    This breakup is better than Weight Watchers.

  • Breakup Breakup

    I hope my breakup email was mean enough that you abandon the idea of fucking me ever again, but not so cruel that you have a heroin relapse.

    I hope my breakup email was mean enough that you abandon the idea of fucking me ever again, but not so cruel that you have a heroin relapse.

  • Missing You Missing You

    I miss telling you I need space.

    I miss telling you I need space.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Congratulations on making your inevitable breakup expensive and legally complicated.

    Congratulations on making your inevitable breakup expensive and legally complicated.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    Let's not break up until after the holidays.

    Let's not break up until after the holidays.

  • Hpnotiq Harmonie Hpnotiq Harmonie

    Let's celebrate your breakup with a night out that produces enough awesome Facebook pictures he'll have to see them.

    Let's celebrate your breakup with a night out that produces enough awesome Facebook pictures he'll have to see them.

  • Sympathy Sympathy

    Let me know if you need someone to listen as you desperately try to convince yourself everything's fine.

    Let me know if you need someone to listen as you desperately try to convince yourself everything's fine.

  • Missing You Missing You

    I just wanted you to know that I noticed you were gone.

    I just wanted you to know that I noticed you were gone.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    Your recent breakup has really put me in the holiday spirit.

    Your recent breakup has really put me in the holiday spirit.

  • Breakup Breakup

    Your painful breakup has made me feel less alone.

    Your painful breakup has made me feel less alone.

  • Confession Confession

    It doesn't hurt when I'm not liked by someone because I've not liked me a lot longer.

    It doesn't hurt when I'm not liked by someone because I've not liked me a lot longer.

  • Breakup Breakup

    August seems like a good time to tell you this was a summer fling.

    August seems like a good time to tell you this was a summer fling.

  • Friendship Friendship

    Please tell me what I did that made you stop talking to me so I can keep doing it.

    Please tell me what I did that made you stop talking to me so I can keep doing it.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    It takes more than one date to truly know if someone is the right person for you to settle for.

    It takes more than one date to truly know if someone is the right person for you to settle for.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I hope our relationship lasts longer than George Clooney's next five.

    I hope our relationship lasts longer than George Clooney's next five.

  • Breakup Breakup

    If you're tired of discussing my nightmarish relationship, I'd love the opportunity to begin discussing my nightmarish breakup.

    If you're tired of discussing my nightmarish relationship, I'd love the opportunity to begin discussing my nightmarish breakup.

  • Divorce Divorce

    Sorry the relationship everyone thought was the worst decision of your life has ended.

    Sorry the relationship everyone thought was the worst decision of your life has ended.

  • Viva Vantage.. Viva Vantage..

    May your breakup be less messy than your relationship.

    May your breakup be less messy than your relationship.

  • Missing You Missing You

    It's hard to miss you when you post a selfie everyday.

    It's hard to miss you when you post a selfie everyday.

  • Breakup Breakup

    Sorry I said you can do so much better before your breakup was finalized.

    Sorry I said you can do so much better before your breakup was finalized.

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