• Birthday Birthday

    Happy birthday weekend to someone who's already received the gift of not having to endure an office birthday celebration.

    Happy birthday weekend to someone who's already received the gift of not having to endure an office birthday celebration.

  • Get Well Get Well

    Get well enough to return to picking up my slack at work soon.

    Get well enough to return to picking up my slack at work soon.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'll barely miss The Walking Dead since I've already seen dozens of zombies roaming the office today.

    I'll barely miss The Walking Dead since I've already seen dozens of zombies roaming the office today.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Sorry my body still being in the office confused you into believing my mind hadn't already left for the weekend.

    Sorry my body still being in the office confused you into believing my mind hadn't already left for the weekend.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Your birthday party is so much more to me than just another mandatory office meeting.

    Your birthday party is so much more to me than just another mandatory office meeting.

  • Birthday Birthday

    This card is to say I had no input on the lame office birthday card I was forced to sign.

    This card is to say I had no input on the lame office birthday card I was forced to sign.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Singing 'Happy Birthday' to you is the most work I've done all week.

    Singing "Happy Birthday" to you is the most work I've done all week.

  • Workplace Workplace

    If you're going to take credit for all my work, let me tell you about what I just did in the bathroom.

    If you're going to take credit for all my work, let me tell you about what I just did in the bathroom.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Happy birthday to a coworker whose birthday I actually care about more than eating their office birthday cake.

    Happy birthday to a coworker whose birthday I actually care about more than eating their office birthday cake.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    I'm going to go ahead and assume it isn't a human resources violation to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.

    I'm going to go ahead and assume it isn't a human resources violation to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.

  • Getting On Getting On

    Thanks for being the kind of co-worker I could never imagine having an office romance with.

    Thanks for being the kind of co-worker I could never imagine having an office romance with.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Hope you have a great time being asleep until Monday morning.

    Hope you have a great time being asleep until Monday morning.

  • Confession Confession

    Sending cute animal videos is the only way I know how to connect with humans.

    Sending cute animal videos is the only way I know how to connect with humans.

  • Boss's Day Boss's Day

    Before I explain why I was late again this morning, let me just say Happy Boss's Day.

    Before I explain why I was late again this morning, let me just say Happy Boss's Day.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I admire the way you personalized your workspace to look as insane as you are.

    I admire the way you personalized your workspace to look as insane as you are.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Feel free to take a personal day rather than making everyone at work pretend to care about your problems.

    Feel free to take a personal day rather than making everyone at work pretend to care about your problems.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Thanks for always making work conversations NSFW.

    Thanks for always making work conversations NSFW.

  • Get Well Get Well

    I hope you feel better soon so you can come back to work and immediately feel worse.

    I hope you feel better soon so you can come back to work and immediately feel worse.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Spam isn't any more manipulative, irritating, or uncomfortably sexual than most email I get from coworkers.

    Spam isn't any more manipulative, irritating, or uncomfortably sexual than most email I get from coworkers.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Thanks for being the coworker to whom I can always admit the true depths of my hangover.

    Thanks for being the coworker to whom I can always admit the true depths of my hangover.

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