• Workplace Workplace

    I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

    I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Sorry my body still being in the office confused you into believing my mind hadn't already left for the weekend.

    Sorry my body still being in the office confused you into believing my mind hadn't already left for the weekend.

  • Pi Day Pi Day

    The only math I'm interested in this Pi Day is how many hours are left before I can start drinking.

    The only math I'm interested in this Pi Day is how many hours are left before I can start drinking.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    My one true love is the workweek ending.

    My one true love is the workweek ending.

  • Drinking Drinking

    You're invited to help slow my gradual slide towards drinking alone.

    You're invited to help slow my gradual slide towards drinking alone.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Sorry that the casual outfit you chose to wear on Friday led to the cancellation of Casual Friday.

    Sorry that the casual outfit you chose to wear on Friday led to the cancellation of Casual Friday.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Sorry you thought your work email was important enough for me to bother reading on a Friday afternoon.

    Sorry you thought your work email was important enough for me to bother reading on a Friday afternoon.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Pretending to look busy on a Friday is the hardest I work all week.

    Pretending to look busy on a Friday is the hardest I work all week.

  • Friendship Friendship

    After reviewing all my other options, we should totally hang out tonight.

    After reviewing all my other options, we should totally hang out tonight.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones.

    Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I couldn't help noticing that you take Summer Fridays in the fall.

    I couldn't help noticing that you take Summer Fridays in the fall.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Have a nice weekend and if not just blame Obama.

    Have a nice weekend and if not just blame Obama.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.

    I'd like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I consider any Friday I'm at my office an unlucky Friday.

    I consider any Friday I'm at my office an unlucky Friday.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Hope you get lucky this Friday the 13th.

    Hope you get lucky this Friday the 13th.

  • Sports Sports

    Watching Jason Voorhees kill people in a hockey mask is the most I've ever been interested in hockey.

    Watching Jason Voorhees kill people in a hockey mask is the most I've ever been interested in hockey.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I'm not nearly as afraid of Friday the 13th as I am of people who are afraid of Friday the 13th.

    I'm not nearly as afraid of Friday the 13th as I am of people who are afraid of Friday the 13th.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Friday is my favorite day of the week to start dreading Monday.

    Friday is my favorite day of the week to start dreading Monday.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Summer Fridays have made Summer Thursdays as productive as Summer Fridays.

    Summer Fridays have made Summer Thursdays as productive as Summer Fridays.

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