• Animated Text Animated Text

    Home is where the vibrator is.

    Home is where the vibrator is.

  • Flirting Flirting

    There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.

    There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Home of the NFL's Arizona Cardinals and a bunch of other anti-gay businesses.

    Home of the NFL's Arizona Cardinals and a bunch of other anti-gay businesses.

  • Wendy's Lunch.. Wendy's Lunch..

    Eating a pudding cup at lunch is a great way to let people know you still live with your parents.

    Eating a pudding cup at lunch is a great way to let people know you still live with your parents.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    I'm getting all the demented drama I expect on Valentine's Day just by staying home to watch House of Cards.

    I'm getting all the demented drama I expect on Valentine's Day just by staying home to watch House of Cards.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    Happy holidays to my parents who always make my visit home a time of love, affection, and tech support for their electronics.

    Happy holidays to my parents who always make my visit home a time of love, affection, and tech support for their electronics.

  • Thanksgiving Thanksgiving

    I want to take you home for Thanksgiving to meet the people who made me turn out this way.

    I want to take you home for Thanksgiving to meet the people who made me turn out this way.

  • Workplace Workplace

    You dress at work like you're working from home.

    You dress at work like you're working from home.

  • Halloween Halloween

    Let's rush past the homeless people outside our office so we can get home in time to give candy to kids in fifty dollar hobo costumes.

    Let's rush past the homeless people outside our office so we can get home in time to give candy to kids in fifty dollar hobo costumes.

  • Workplace Workplace

    My email saying I'll be working from home is all the work I'll be doing today.

    My email saying I'll be working from home is all the work I'll be doing today.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I will be out of the office today claiming I won't have access to email.

    I will be out of the office today claiming I won't have access to email.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Home of the nation's most beautiful desolate prairies.

    Home of the nation's most beautiful desolate prairies.

  • Workplace Workplace

    The only reason I come to work is to complain about the commute.

    The only reason I come to work is to complain about the commute.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'm looking forward to working from home and sexually harassing myself for a change.

    I'm looking forward to working from home and sexually harassing myself for a change.

  • Pets Pets

    I feel guiltier leaving my dog at home than I do leaving my spouse.

    I feel guiltier leaving my dog at home than I do leaving my spouse.

  • Workplace Workplace

    The amount of time you spend in the office says a lot about how awful your home life must be.

    The amount of time you spend in the office says a lot about how awful your home life must be.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Home to almost as many Puerto Ricans as New York City!

    Home to almost as many Puerto Ricans as New York City!

  • Better Like.. Better Like..

    Better Like Button: This reminds me why I moved away from our hometown.

    Better Like Button: This reminds me why I moved away from our hometown.

  • Workplace Workplace

    The first thing I do when I get to work is check my Facebook until I go home.

    The first thing I do when I get to work is check my Facebook until I go home.

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