• TV TV

    Don Draper is even better than you are at pretending to have a real job.

    Don Draper is even better than you are at pretending to have a real job.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

    I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Rest assured that your recent accomplishments at work have gone largely unnoticed.

    Rest assured that your recent accomplishments at work have gone largely unnoticed.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I hope a promotion isn't out of the question because I'm ready to do nothing at a more senior level.

    I hope a promotion isn't out of the question because I'm ready to do nothing at a more senior level.

  • Workplace Workplace

    The only experience needed for my job is the ability to withstand doing something you don't like to do for the rest of your life.

    The only experience needed for my job is the ability to withstand doing something you don't like to do for the rest of your life.

  • Workplace Workplace

    My raise this year will be expensing the alcohol that helps me endure being underpaid.

    My raise this year will be expensing the alcohol that helps me endure being underpaid.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Thanks for letting me know I'm doing a great job that won't remotely be reflected in my 2.5% raise.

    Thanks for letting me know I'm doing a great job that won't remotely be reflected in my 2.5% raise.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Thanks for giving me a job at your wedding I can perform while drunk.

    Thanks for giving me a job at your wedding I can perform while drunk.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'll barely miss The Walking Dead since I've already seen dozens of zombies roaming the office today.

    I'll barely miss The Walking Dead since I've already seen dozens of zombies roaming the office today.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Just curious if your refusal to participate in Throwback Thursday has anything to do with the authenticity of your breasts.

    Just curious if your refusal to participate in Throwback Thursday has anything to do with the authenticity of your breasts.

  • Workplace Workplace

    You deserve an award for best performance in a depressing and unglamorous line of work.

    You deserve an award for best performance in a depressing and unglamorous line of work.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'm already pondering how your new job might benefit me.

    I'm already pondering how your new job might benefit me.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Let's celebrate your new job promotion by doing something that can get you fired.

    Let's celebrate your new job promotion by doing something that can get you fired.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Always remember to clean your clothes and your tagged pics before a job interview.

    Always remember to clean your clothes and your tagged pics before a job interview.

  • Workplace Workplace

    Here's to Peyton Manning for universally lowering the bar on job performance today.

    Here's to Peyton Manning for universally lowering the bar on job performance today.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I get a full eight hours of sleep every day at my desk with my eyes open.

    I get a full eight hours of sleep every day at my desk with my eyes open.

  • Cougar Town Cougar Town

    Please refrain from tagging me in holiday party photos because I need to keep my job next year.

    Please refrain from tagging me in holiday party photos because I need to keep my job next year.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    My holiday bonus is almost enough to guilt me into working at all during December.

    My holiday bonus is almost enough to guilt me into working at all during December.

  • Christmas Season Christmas Season

    You don't pay me enough to get a Secret Santa gift for anyone.

    You don't pay me enough to get a Secret Santa gift for anyone.

DON'T MISS THIS