• Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    Best of luck to your team on winning the Super Bowl and getting out of New Jersey as quickly as possible.

    Best of luck to your team on winning the Super Bowl and getting out of New Jersey as quickly as possible.

  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    I'm excited to watch the first meaningful football game to be played in the New York area this season.

    I'm excited to watch the first meaningful football game to be played in the New York area this season.

  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    Let's lose more brain cells than an NFL player this Super Bowl weekend.

    Let's lose more brain cells than an NFL player this Super Bowl weekend.

  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    You're invited to ask me during my Super Bowl party which teams are playing.

    You're invited to ask me during my Super Bowl party which teams are playing.

  • Weekend Weekend

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

    I take my work home on the weekends by doing absolutely nothing there either.

  • Friendship Friendship

    After reviewing all my other options, we should totally hang out tonight.

    After reviewing all my other options, we should totally hang out tonight.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Sorry the weekend and I couldn't last longer.

    Sorry the weekend and I couldn't last longer.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Have a nice weekend and if not just blame Obama.

    Have a nice weekend and if not just blame Obama.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I'd like to thank my antidepressants for working overtime every Monday.

    I'd like to thank my antidepressants for working overtime every Monday.

  • Best Feelings Best Feelings

    The only thing that keeps me from watching my Sunday night TV shows is an awards show for TV shows.

    The only thing that keeps me from watching my Sunday night TV shows is an awards show for TV shows.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'd like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.

    I'd like to be one of the unhealthy things you put inside your body this weekend.

  • Cinco De Mayo Cinco De Mayo

    Just a heads up that Cinco de Mayo is Sunday so I'll be calling in sick Monday.

    Just a heads up that Cinco de Mayo is Sunday so I'll be calling in sick Monday.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Have a good weekend complaining about how short the weekend is.

    Have a good weekend complaining about how short the weekend is.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Let’s waste the weekend complaining about our workweeks.

    Let’s waste the weekend complaining about our workweeks.

  • Easter Easter

    I wonder if Jesus will make a special appearance on The Walking Dead this Sunday.

    I wonder if Jesus will make a special appearance on The Walking Dead this Sunday.

  • Oscars Oscars

    Let's gather Sunday and pretend we've viewed non-pornographic films this year.

    Let's gather Sunday and pretend we've viewed non-pornographic films this year.

  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    Allow me to apologize in advance for what I will do to your bathroom on Super Bowl Sunday.

    Allow me to apologize in advance for what I will do to your bathroom on Super Bowl Sunday.

  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    I hope the players in this year's Super Bowl feel okay about missing Downton Abbey Sunday night.

    I hope the players in this year's Super Bowl feel okay about missing Downton Abbey Sunday night.

  • Totino's Mom Up Totino's Mom Up

    My main fantasy about football is spending all Sunday watching it.

    My main fantasy about football is spending all Sunday watching it.

  • Drinking Drinking

    Brunch makes Sunday morning binge drinking feel so civilized.

    Brunch makes Sunday morning binge drinking feel so civilized.

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