I hope I didn't confuse you by suggesting we walk somewhere just for the enjoyment of walking
May your devastating winter blues finally give way to your debilitating spring allergies
I think The Hamptons are a bit pretentious unless you're planning to invite me there
The record-breaking cold weather is causing less suffering than your attempts at explaining it
At Burning Man, I hope your geodesic dome doesn't get run over by a kinetic sculpture
You could conceivably be the first person to do something completely unacceptable at Burning Man
Burning Man is a symbol of our freedom to get wasted enough to appreciate abominable works of art
Please join me at the beach to help detract attention from my body abnormalities
Just wondering how many of you remember I won't be doing shit all summer
