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    Sorry the untrendy location of your summer home forces you to tell people how much you cherish getting away from it all.

    Sorry the untrendy location of your summer home forces you to tell people how much you cherish getting away from it all

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    I'm staying in shape this winter by wearing enough layers to be constantly sweating.

    I'm staying in shape this winter by wearing enough layers to be constantly sweating.

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    I hope my complaints about the weather have made the weather seem comparatively less annoying.

    I hope my complaints about the weather have made the weather seem comparatively less annoying

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    I'm glad my urine won't be the most toxic thing in our nation's waters this weekend.

    I'm glad my urine won't be the most toxic thing in our nation's waters this weekend

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    Commuting to work in a snowstorm is all the work I'm doing today.

    Commuting to work in a snowstorm is all the work I'm doing today.

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    I'd be more into Summer Fridays if I didn't have to work Summer Saturdays and Sundays.

    I'd be more into Summer Fridays if I didn't have to work Summer Saturdays and Sundays.

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    Let's get a four-hour head start on rush hour traffic that begins four hours early.

    Let's get a four-hour head start on rush hour traffic that begins four hours early

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    A great way to show me that you know nothing about me is to invite me camping.

    A great way to show me that you know nothing about me is to invite me camping.

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    It's too hot to argue with someone who doesn't believe in global warming.

    It's too hot to argue with someone who doesn't believe in global warming.

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    Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.

    Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.

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    I can't wait until I can use the heat as an excuse not to get any exercise.

    I can't wait until I can use the heat as an excuse not to get any exercise.

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    This winter has been as torturously prolonged as a group text.

    This winter has been as torturously prolonged as a group text.

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    I wish there was a vaccine that prevented me from hearing your opinion about flu shots.

    I wish there was a vaccine that prevented me from hearing your opinion about flu shots.

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    Happy Bragging About Biking To Work Season.

    Happy Bragging About Biking To Work Season.

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    Feel free to not give me a layer-by-layer description of every item of winter clothing you're wearing.

    Feel free to not give me a layer-by-layer description of every item of winter clothing you're wearing

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    It's finally that time of year to figure out how to stay friends after delicately critiquing each other's bodies.

    It's finally that time of year to figure out how to stay friends after delicately critiquing each other's bodies

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    Hope you've been enjoying the pleasant summer weather on your daily walks of shame.

    Hope you've been enjoying the pleasant summer weather on your daily walks of shame.

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    At least there's not much summer left to be ashamed about not getting into shape for summer.

    At least there's not much summer left to be ashamed about not getting into shape for summer.

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    The beach is a great place to relieve the soul-crushing stress you build up in the traffic going to the beach.

    The beach is a great place to relieve the soul-crushing stress you build up in the traffic going to the beach.

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    Let's agree to never tell anyone I rubbed suntan lotion on your back.

    Let's agree to never tell anyone I rubbed suntan lotion on your back.

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