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Just curious if sending you a flattering ecard would make my job here more secure

You have a knack for taking pictures that make it look like we had more fun than we did

You're one of my best friends with a functional credit card

I'd love to buy you an unembarrassing drink

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It's heartening to see the U.S. fully embrace soccer by clamoring for the murder of a crappy World Cup referee
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Thank god England's goalie is as inept as its oil company

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