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    Now that football season is over I can finally get back to wishing it was football season.

    Now that football season is over I can finally get back to wishing it was football season

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    Congratulations on your team coming in 2nd.

    Congratulations on your team coming in 2nd

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    Sorry the 2011 Patriots couldn't erase the memory of the 2011 Red Sox.

    Sorry the 2011 Patriots couldn't erase the memory of the 2011 Red Sox

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    You had nothing to do with your favorite sports team winning.

    You had nothing to do with your favorite sports team winning

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    Maybe you'll feel better knowing I won money on your team's loss.

    Maybe you'll feel better knowing I won money on your team's loss

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    Sorry I can't empathize with the pain over your team losing.

    Sorry I can't empathize with the pain over your team losing

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    Congratulations to the Patriots on not having had a perfect season to blow.

    Congratulations to the Patriots on not having had a perfect season to blow

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    I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television.

    I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television

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    Watching an hour of LeBron James is the perfect way to hate your career, salary, age, and LeBron James.

    Watching an hour of LeBron James is the perfect way to hate your career, salary, age, and LeBron James

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    I'd like a second opinion on whether Jay Cutler's injury is bad enough for me to forgive him.

    I'd like a second opinion on whether Jay Cutler's injury is bad enough for me to forgive him

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    Congratulations to Spain on being the best in the world at a sport that doesn't involve executing bulls.

    Congratulations to Spain on being the best in the world at a sport that doesn't involve executing bulls

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    Sorry your use of performance-enhancing drugs hasn't enhanced your performance.

    Sorry your use of performance-enhancing drugs hasn't enhanced your performance

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    Congratulations on setting a record for the longest time sitting on your ass watching a tennis match.

    Congratulations on setting a record for the longest time sitting on your ass watching a tennis match

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    I love hockey except for the agonizing moments when no fight is happening.

    I love hockey except for the agonizing moments when no fight is happening

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    Everything you can do a ten-year-old asian prodigy can do better.

    Everything you can do a ten-year-old asian prodigy can do better.

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    The Netherlands making it to the World Cup finals makes a case for legalized marijuana and prostitution improving my soccer skills.

    The Netherlands making it to the World Cup finals makes a case for legalized marijuana and prostitution improving my soccer skills

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    I can't wait to see what strategic defense the Jets use against a gigantic rapist.

    I can't wait to see what strategic defense the Jets use against a gigantic rapist

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    The only things standing between us and our Olympic dreams are that we're out-of-shape, apathetic, and incapable of passing a drug test.

    The only things standing between us and our Olympic dreams are that we're out-of-shape, apathetic, and incapable of passing a drug test

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    You're the Tiger Woods of something as equally boring as golf.

    You're the Tiger Woods of something as equally boring as golf

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    I'm much more comfortable putting my money into football bets than into the stock market.

    I'm much more comfortable putting my money into football bets than into the stock market

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