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    Sorry the 2011 Patriots couldn't erase the memory of the 2011 Red Sox.

    Sorry the 2011 Patriots couldn't erase the memory of the 2011 Red Sox

  •  

    Congratulations to the Patriots on not having had a perfect season to blow.

    Congratulations to the Patriots on not having had a perfect season to blow

  •  

    I promise my Super Bowl party will be more fun than the Harbaugh's.

    I promise my Super Bowl party will be more fun than the Harbaugh's.

  •  

    Thanks for the invitation to watch you watch football.

    Thanks for the invitation to watch you watch football

  •  

    I think the Giants should see if it's possible to only play in the postseason.

    I think the Giants should see if it's possible to only play in the postseason.

  •  

    I think a good Tebow drinking game would be to drink every time Tim Tebow doesn't drink.

    I think a good Tebow drinking game would be to drink every time Tim Tebow doesn't drink.

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    Everything you can do a ten-year-old asian prodigy can do better.

    Everything you can do a ten-year-old asian prodigy can do better.

  •  

    I'd still rather have sex than throw an 80-yard touchdown pass to win an overtime playoff game.

    I'd still rather have sex than throw an 80-yard touchdown pass to win an overtime playoff game

  •  

    Sorry the Patriots did to Tim Tebow what he's yet to do to a woman.

    Sorry the Patriots did to Tim Tebow what he's yet to do to a woman.

  •  

    Sorry to Eagles fans that the NFL isn't in a lockout too.

    Sorry to Eagles fans that the NFL isn't in a lockout too

  •  

    Let's congratulate Jonathan Papelbon on achieving every current MLB player's dream of not playing for the Red Sox.

    Let's congratulate Jonathan Papelbon on achieving every current MLB player's dream of not playing for the Red Sox

  •  

    Sorry the least disappointing 2011 Boston sports team is the one that's in a lockout.

    Sorry the least disappointing 2011 Boston sports team is the one that's in a lockout

  •  

    This is the most exciting World Series I've ever felt slightly bad about completely ignoring.

    This is the most exciting World Series I've ever felt slightly bad about completely ignoring.

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    Let's drink while watching World Series games like we're Red Sox players watching Red Sox games.

    Let's drink while watching World Series games like we're Red Sox players watching Red Sox games

  •  

    The cancellation of the NBA season may be the closest we'll get to seeing one percenters suffer.

    The cancellation of the NBA season may be the closest we'll get to seeing one percenters suffer

  •  

    I feel bad today for the dozens of Tampa Bay Rays fans.

    I feel bad today for the dozens of Tampa Bay Rays fans

  •  

    Sorry the Yankees' payroll isn't high enough to not have to rely on A.J. Burnett.

    Sorry the Yankees' payroll isn't high enough to not have to rely on A.J. Burnett

  •  

    Congratulations to the Red Sox on figuring out how to still look terrible without even playing.

    Congratulations to the Red Sox on figuring out how to still look terrible without even playing

  •  

    Sorry the Yankees couldn't help your team make the playoffs.

    Sorry the Yankees couldn't help your team make the playoffs

  •  

    Congratulations to the Atlanta Braves on having their epic collapse overshadowed by the Red Sox's.

    Congratulations to the Atlanta Braves on having their epic collapse overshadowed by the Red Sox's

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