I enjoy complaining about Olympic tape delays more than watching Olympic events
Congratulations to Lindsey Vonn, Shaun White, and the less appealing American medal winners
I wish the Olympics committee understood that skiing is only fun to watch when people are bad at it
The Winter Olympics are a great reminder it's only two years until the real Olympics
Let's hope Tiger Woods can save his marriage by not masturbating for six weeks in Mississippi
I'd never have guessed Mark Sanchez would have a better first year than Obama
I was inappropriately using the finger-pistol long before Gilbert Arenas
Sorry Jimmy Rollins' prediction was off by a game and a team
Congratulations to the Yankees on winning as many championships this decade as the Red Sox
My first baseman sucks slightly less than yours this World Series
I hope your tough, gritty, ragtag team of multi-millionaires is able to stand up to the Yankees
Let me know if you're willing to travel a few blocks to watch people run 26.2 miles
Lets enjoy the first days of spring watching college basketball in a windowless bar
I wish the Olympics committee understood that skiing is only fun to watch when people are bad at it
Sorry your baseball team has no playoff hopes because of its low payroll or lack of Latin players
My Olympic dream is to make it through a women's volleyball match without fondling myself
