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    Let's congratulate the Dallas Mavericks on winning the closest thing Cleveland Cavaliers fans will ever have to an NBA Championship.

    Let's congratulate the Dallas Mavericks on winning the closest thing Cleveland Cavaliers fans will ever have to an NBA Championship

  •  

    I hope to someday will myself to succeed as effectively as I willed LeBron James to fail.

    I hope to someday will myself to succeed as effectively as I willed LeBron James to fail

  •  

    I'm glad Shaq could finally retire from being injured.

    I'm glad Shaq could finally retire from being injured.

  •  

    I'm excited about the NBA Finals because either LeBron James or Mark Cuban has to lose.

    I'm excited about the NBA Finals because either LeBron James or Mark Cuban has to lose

  •  

    Sorry the best thing that's happened to your baseball team this year is a rainout.

    Sorry the best thing that's happened to your baseball team this year is a rainout

  •  

    I hope you enjoy the one day your team doesn't have a losing record.

    I hope you enjoy the one day your team doesn't have a losing record

  •  

    I'd watch more MLB, NBA, and NHL if they had more updates on next season's NFL.

    I'd watch more MLB, NBA, and NHL if they had more updates on next season's NFL

  •  

    Opening day of baseball means only 120 more games until we need to start caring about baseball.

    Opening day of baseball means only 120 more games until we need to start caring about baseball

  •  

    The Carmelo Anthony trade makes me wish I was a Denver Nuggets fan.

    The Carmelo Anthony trade makes me wish I was a Denver Nuggets fan

  •  

    Just wondering if it's too late to bet against myself in the office pool.

    Just wondering if it's too late to bet against myself in the office pool

  •  

    I'd be more shocked by the upsets in the NCAA Tournament if I knew anything about the NCAA Tournament.

    I'd be more shocked by the upsets in the NCAA Tournament if I knew anything about the NCAA Tournament

  •  

    March is the only time I'm willing to place all my hopes and dreams in the hands of college students.

    March is the only time I'm willing to place all my hopes and dreams in the hands of college students

  •  

    I'd miss one of the 67 NCAA Tournament games for you.

    I'd miss one of the 67 NCAA Tournament games for you

  •  

    I'd have premarital intercourse with you even if it got me suspended from a Mormon university's basketball team.

    I'd have premarital intercourse with you even if it got me suspended from a Mormon university's basketball team

  •  

    I'm looking forward to slightly alleviating the boredom of my life with the boredom of watching baseball.

    I'm looking forward to slightly alleviating the boredom of my life with the boredom of watching baseball

  •  

    I've been a hardcore Knicks fan for two days.

    I've been a hardcore Knicks fan for two days

  •  

    I have no doubt Carmelo Anthony will help your team get all the way to the second round of the playoffs.

    I have no doubt Carmelo Anthony will help your team get all the way to the second round of the playoffs

  •  

    Now that football season is over I can finally get back to wishing it was football season.

    Now that football season is over I can finally get back to wishing it was football season

  •  

    I'd like a second opinion on whether Jay Cutler's injury is bad enough for me to forgive him.

    I'd like a second opinion on whether Jay Cutler's injury is bad enough for me to forgive him

  •  

    Let's question an NFL player's toughness once we finish panicking about winter being cold.

    Let's question an NFL player's toughness once we finish panicking about winter being cold

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