


Until I met you, I didn't know Jews could drink like Irishmen

Save money this St. Patrick's Day by passing out as fast as humanly possible

I hope banning gays from your parade doesn't hinder your celebration of tiny, magical fairies

Let's worship someone who possibly banished non-existent snakes from Ireland

I'm starting a drunken brawl with the first person today who stereotypes the Irish

Not wearing green today simply means you hate Christ or possibly wearing green

I find few things more scenic than 40 tons of green dye dumped in a river of raw sewage

I refuse to be told what color to wear unless it's by pretty much any fashion magazine

There's no gentle way to tell you that you're the designated driver on St. Patrick's Day