Greeting Card (5x7) - "This must be love because I haven't even contemplated an eventual escape plan"
Ceramic Mug (15 oz.) - "If there was a Zagat guide for penises, yours would rate high on both service and decor"
Greeting Card (5x7) - "I love you like a cannibal loves human flesh"
Stainless Travel Mug - "I want to grow old and disgusting with you"
Mousepad - "I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios"