Your inability to talk about football has people talking
The only way I'll conceivably care about this year's Super Bowl is if I place a dangerously large wager
Super Bowl parties are a great opportunity to enjoy a wholesome event with friends and perhaps meet a man who prefers sex with women
I hope the player who makes the winning catch in this year's Super Bowl doesn't unintentionally shoot himself in the thigh next season
Please attend a thinly-veiled ploy to show off my TV