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I'd be much more into your Super Bowl party if it didn't involve watching the Super Bowl

Congratulations to Indianapolis on having one meaningful football game with a Manning this season

The only way I'll conceivably care about this year's Super Bowl is if I place a dangerously large wager

Let's barely watch the Super Bowl together

Super Bowl parties are a great opportunity to enjoy a wholesome event with friends and perhaps meet a man who prefers sex with women

You're invited to watch the Super Bowl with me on your television

I hope the player who makes the winning catch in this year's Super Bowl doesn't unintentionally shoot himself in the thigh next season

I'm so glad the Super Bowl's almost here because I'm almost out of Ben Roethlisberger jokes

Please attend a thinly-veiled ploy to show off my TV

Your team not making it to the Super Bowl is the perfect way to stay focused on binge drinking during the Super Bowl

You're invited to watch the Super Bowl at my place so I'm not the one who has to schlep home drunk on a Sunday night in February

Here's to the New York football team that didn't guarantee a trip to the Super Bowl making it to the Super Bowl

My Super Bowl party is the closest I'll ever come to cooking you a meal

Let's get together to watch the Super Bowl if you're not too busy keeping a Jets fan on suicide watch

Your inability to talk about football has people talking

Congratulations on your team coming in 2nd

You had nothing to do with your favorite sports team winning

I'm rooting for an aging rock band to play a halftime medley of hits

Please tutor me in sports so I don't seem gay

I hope this monumental recession doesn't stop companies from blowing millions to air the most dumbed-down commercials the human brain can withstand

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