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Congratulations to M.I.A. on being the last person under 50 ever allowed to perform at the Super Bowl again

I'd be much more into your Super Bowl party if it didn't involve watching the Super Bowl

Let's get together to watch the Super Bowl if you're not too busy keeping a Jets fan on suicide watch

Sorry your Superbowl party had Pro Bowl-like attendance.

I'd love to watch the Super Bowl on your 60-inch plasma HDTV if I wasn't so terrified of seeing Madonna on it.

You're invited to watch the Super Bowl with me on your television

Let's prepare for a monumental Super Bowl battle between grating regional accents

Here's to the New York football team that didn't guarantee a trip to the Super Bowl making it to the Super Bowl

Let's get ready for a Super Bowl rematch between two of the most excruciatingly obnoxious fan bases in sports

Congratulations to Indianapolis on having one meaningful football game with a Manning this season

May your football team have the honor of being featured in between Super Bowl commercials

Let's not wait until the Super Bowl to start ingesting the unhealthiest crap imaginable

I'd rather be locked in a bar's bathroom with Ben Roethlisberger than watch that halftime show again.

Let's watch the world's most testosterone-laden sporting event followed by its most testosterone-draining TV show

I'm so glad the Super Bowl's almost here because I'm almost out of Ben Roethlisberger jokes

I appreciate the Super Bowl for uniting all Americans in our inability to read Roman numerals

The only Super Bowl bet I'm making is that you'll lose money betting on the Super Bowl

Your team not making it to the Super Bowl is the perfect way to stay focused on binge drinking during the Super Bowl

Let's pretend to be sports fans whilst stuffing our faces like Oprah fans.

Your invitation to my Super Bowl party should serve as a reminder of the money you still owe me from last year's Super Bowl party.

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