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Congratulations to a Saints fan who hasn't yet died of alcohol poisoning

I believe a woman has the right to choose what happens to her body including getting violently tackled by her unaborted son

Can't wait to see you this Sunday for food, booze, and a hideously timed discussion on the complexities of abortion

A Super Bowl victory could help New Orleans regain the pride it will immediately relinquish in the urine-soaked decadence of a New Orleans celebration

I hope the Colts don't eviscerate the hopes and dreams of America by winning the Super Bowl

My Super Bowl party is the closest I'll ever come to cooking you a meal

You're invited to watch the Super Bowl at my place so I'm not the one who has to schlep home drunk on a Sunday night in February

Please attend a thinly-veiled ploy to show off my TV

I hope the player who makes the winning catch in this year's Super Bowl doesn't unintentionally shoot himself in the thigh next season

Super Bowl parties are a great opportunity to enjoy a wholesome event with friends and perhaps meet a man who prefers sex with women

The only way I'll conceivably care about this year's Super Bowl is if I place a dangerously large wager

I hope this monumental recession doesn't stop companies from blowing millions to air the most dumbed-down commercials the human brain can withstand

Congratulations on your team coming in 2nd

Let's barely watch the Super Bowl together

I'm rooting for an aging rock band to play a halftime medley of hits

Let's overanalyze piss-poor ads sold at disturbingly excessive rates

I'd love to watch the Super Bowl with you but have concerns about your TV

I'm going to bet on you passing out by the coin toss

It's my Super Bowl party and I'll wear a jockstrap if I want to

I hope your team wins and your city doesn't riot

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