I want you to know that whatever problems you're having, I'm here to read about it on Facebook.
Sounds like you had a rough day.
Let me know if you want to have a serious talk peppered with humorous movie quotes.
It's tragic that you had to deal with that many idiots at once.
Sorry your boss is an asshole like everyone else's on earth.
Sorry your calls keep getting dropped before you can finish raving about your new iPhone.
Feel better so I can guiltlessly make fun of you again.
Sorry your family likes me better than you.
Sorry you're a sex addict who can't get laid.
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
Sorry you live in a state that considers gay marriage more harmful than tobacco.
Sorry your company's downsizing was limited to you.
I'm sorry Twitter is down so you don't know what everyone thinks about Twitter being down.
Sorry we don't care enough about you to stage an intervention.
Sorry you got so excited about your great ecard idea that you forgot to proofread it.
Pretending you're not desperate does not constitute role-playing.
Don't worry, there are other psychic octopuses in the sea.
Sorry about the crippling identity crisis that was caused by learning your new astrological sign.
I'm sorry your new astrological sign has rendered your tattoo meaningless.
Sorry you're too tired from shoveling to have the sex I promised we'd have if you shoveled.
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)
![[UPDATED] The 69 best examples of horrific and embarrassing parenting on Facebook.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e14d0b1b6c64_m4e15e1ebd76ac.jpg)