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Sorry even your gay friends will now be getting married before you

I'm always available to discuss your problems via text

I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals

Sorry, without any irony

If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen

This is going to hurt me less than it hurts you

I just realized we're too old to be the young guys cougars would consider for filthy intergenerational sex

Feel better so I can guiltlessly make fun of you again

Sorry you're faced with the unspeakable trauma of having to choose between a BlackBerry and an iPhone

Sorry there's no Black Friday deal for the hospital visit you'll need after Black Friday

Sorry your car is a piece of shit

Sorry your family likes me better than you

A wardrobe upgrade is a difficult time in any man's life

Let me know if you want to have a serious talk peppered with humorous movie quotes

Sorry a magazine you never read gave a fake award to the wrong handsome movie star

Sorry your career choice required changing your name to something not Jewish-sounding

Sorry those year-old bottles of Newman's Own are now a painful reminder of more than just the fact that your fat ass never eats salad

I feel somewhat responsible for how you're feeling

It's tragic that you had to deal with that many idiots at once

Your loved one is in affordable hands

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Someecards.com is the best site for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.