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I can't believe you'd sleep with someone like me without making me wear a condom

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Sorry you're faced with the unspeakable trauma of having to choose between a BlackBerry and an iPhone

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Sorry your car isn't quite shitty enough for you to benefit from the Cash for Clunkers plan

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Sorry swine flu is visiting more countries this summer than you

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Sorry your MBA is now worth as much as my MFA

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Sorry your family likes me better than you

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Sorry the joy of finding your soul mate will forever be tarnished by the fact that you met online

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Sorry that guy who didn't want to have sex with you didn't turn out to be gay

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Sorry those year-old bottles of Newman's Own are now a painful reminder of more than just the fact that your fat ass never eats salad

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Sorry you immigrated to America during the decline of our empire

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Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends

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Sorry a complete stranger is privy to your yeast infection

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I just realized we're too old to be the young guys cougars would consider for filthy intergenerational sex

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Sorry you had to disguise your masturbation injury as sports-related

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Sorry your compelling company name is impossible to spell, pronounce, or remember

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Sorry your car is a piece of shit

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Sorry your career choice required changing your name to something not Jewish-sounding

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Sorry you can't vote because of your felony conviction

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Sorry a self-help book has made you temporarily insane

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Sorry I wasn't there to see you get fired

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Someecards.com is possibly to probably the best site on the Web for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.