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Sorry you'll never make as much as Mitt Romney pays in taxes.

Sorry you have such a weird name and no celebrity parents to blame it on

Sorry there's no Black Friday deal for the hospital visit you'll need after Black Friday

I could care less than the guy who shamelessly leaves a crowded mens room without washing his hands.

Sorry a magazine you never read gave a fake award to the wrong handsome movie star

I'm sorry I'm forcing you to participate in No Shave Novembeard in order to fulfill my own sexual fantasies.

Sorry that telling me about your great new iPhone drained its entire battery

I'm sorry that there are now 7 billion people in the world and you are still single.

Sorry a 72-day marriage is still longer than your most successful relationship

Sorry the only successful female relationship in your life is with your iPhone's digital assistant

Sorry no one cares that the creator of your electronic device is still alive

I'm sorry that Chaz Bono can grow a better beard than you.

Glad the Facebook redesign helped distract you from everything actually wrong with your life

Sorry you've reached an age where getting a tan is more life-threatening than awesome

Sorry Bin Laden died in a mansion and you still have roommates

Sorry you can't blame steroids for your genitalia's size and dysfunction

At least when you die you won't have to read people's tweets about your death

I'm worried you're going to OD on Charlie Sheen

There are no winners when broccoli farts are involved.

Sorry you're too tired from shoveling to have the sex I promised we'd have if you shoveled.

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Someecards.com is the best site for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.