


Congratulations on your salary or work hours being reduced enough to improve your tax bracket

Sorry your self-respect has disintegrated to the point of using H&R Block

It must be nice to no longer have to check the sad little "single" box on your tax return

Sorry you don't believe in paying taxes or in the federal prison system that will soon house you

Tax season is when you get to experience the real benefits of pretending to give to charity

My taxes are extremely high because I'm too cheap to pay someone to do my taxes

I will love you no matter how dissimilar our tax brackets are

I hope your audit doesn't reveal any of your extramarital affairs

I know we've barely met but I wanted to say thanks for letting me claim you as a dependent

Congratulations on not paying taxes this year due to appalling housing decisions last year

You should deduct your boob job since it helps keep you gainfully employed

Congratulations on making little enough income to qualify for the economic stimulus tax rebate

I'm seeking a tax return high enough to just barely keep me out of prison

Having a friend like you could conceivably be some sort of tax deduction