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  •  

    Thanks for ignoring me when I said you didn't have to get me a gift.

    Thanks for ignoring me when I said you didn't have to get me a gift.

  •  

    Thanks for not judging my eating disorder.

    Thanks for not judging my eating disorder

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    Thanks for not noticing that my hobbies are all thinly veiled suicide attempts.

    Thanks for not noticing that my hobbies are all thinly veiled suicide attempts.

  •  

    Thanks for the courtesy like on my Facebook status.

    Thanks for the courtesy like on my Facebook status.

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    Thanks for leaving work exceptionally early today so that I didn't look bad for sneaking out at 4:45.

    Thanks for leaving work exceptionally early today so that I didn't look bad for sneaking out at 4:45.

  •  

    Thanks for taking the picture we obviously didn't want you in.

    Thanks for taking the picture we obviously didn't want you in

  •  

    Thank you for not judging me out loud.

    Thank you for not judging me out loud.

  •  

    Thanks for having a friend desperate enough to have sex with me.

    Thanks for having a friend desperate enough to have sex with me.

  •  

    Thanks for climaxing quietly when we visit family.

    Thanks for climaxing quietly when we visit family.

  •  

    Thank you for your service to our country even though it means you can't be here to service me.

    Thank you for your service to our country even though it means you can't be here to service me.

  •  

    Thank you for managing to eat dinner without posting pictures of it on Instagram.

    Thank you for managing to eat dinner without posting pictures of it on Instagram.

  •  

    Thank you for always hiding how fat I am when you post pictures of me online.

    Thank you for always hiding how fat I am when you post pictures of me online.

  •  

    Thanks for the drunk, shameful, emotionless sex.

    Thanks for the drunk, shameful, emotionless sex.

  •  

    You've made me less unhappy than usual.

    You've made me less unhappy than usual.

  •  

    Thank you for saying no when I asked if you needed help moving.

    Thank you for saying no when I asked if you needed help moving.

  •  

    You always know exactly what I like after I've been badgering you about it for two days.

    You always know exactly what I like after I've been badgering you about it for two days.

  •  

    Thanks for listening to my problem and somehow making it about you.

    Thanks for listening to my problem and somehow making it about you.

  •  

    Thanks for listening to me drone on about my failed relationship with a person I was never even in a relationship with.

    Thanks for listening to me drone on about my failed relationship with a person I was never even in a relationship with.

  •  

    Thank you for being so terrible at our job that I look like a superstar in comparison.

    Thank you for being so terrible at our job that I look like a superstar in comparison.

  •  

    Thank you for understanding that I didn't want you at my wedding even though I invited you.

    Thank you for understanding that I didn't want you at my wedding even though I invited you.

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