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Thanksgiving / Last Updated Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 / Displaying 1- 20 of 36

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Happy Thanksgiving to someone as ungrateful as me

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This Thanksgiving, cherish the time spent with your family as a reminder of why you moved very far away from your family

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I can't wait for this year's Thanksgiving because I'll finally not be the only child begging for money

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Let's be thankful Jews aren't being blamed for the crumbling economy

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I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving now that my relatives' political opinions have been rendered irrelevant

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Im torn between the lack of mental anguish at your parents' Thanksgiving dinner and the far superior turkey at mine

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Sorry your child is playing a tree in the Thanksgiving play

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Now that we have an overly health-conscious president, it seems less weird that you'll be going to the gym three times on Thanksgiving Day

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Now that I've lost my job, I imagine carving the turkey will be the only time this year I'll feel like a man

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In advance of our annual awkward Thanksgiving conversation, thought I'd let you know up front that yes, I'm still single, and no, I still havent gotten a real job

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I'm thankful for a holiday that doesn't require atonement or starvation

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The rancor and pettiness of this election campaign has better prepared me to go home for Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to say goodbye to near-dead relatives

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Thanksgiving is the perfect mix of cultural harmony and incoherently racist grandparents

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I can't wait to catch up with you during halftime

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Thanksgiving dinner is my favorite meal of the year to regurgitate

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I'd be happy to help wedge stale bread up the bird's asshole

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I'm going to blame tryptophan for my passing out at the table

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Your Tofurkey has brought shame to this family

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I wouldn't be caught dead at the kid's table

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