


Let's be thankful Jews aren't being blamed for the crumbling economy

I'm thankful for a holiday that doesn't require atonement or starvation

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to say goodbye to near-dead relatives

Thanksgiving is the perfect mix of cultural harmony and incoherently racist grandparents

Thanksgiving dinner is my favorite meal of the year to regurgitate

I'd be happy to help wedge stale bread up the bird's asshole

I'm going to blame tryptophan for my passing out at the table
Be thankful that only one-third of your family has been institutionalized
I'd be happy to help wedge stale bread up the bird's asshole
Thanksgiving dinner is my favorite meal of the year to regurgitate
I can't wait to catch up with you during halftime
Thanksgiving is the perfect mix of cultural harmony and incoherently racist grandparents